My positive force for a life change
IT IS so important to share positives — so much needed in these testing times. I hope this email from P will encourage those of you who fear making a change in your life:
‘Dear Bel, I wrote to you more than ten years ago about my marriage and my husband’s behaviour.
‘I then wrote again to ask you not to publish, because I was scared of the consequences if anyone recognised it was me. You replied with a very kind message and some advice.
‘I kept your message for a long time, for I was in a situation where just a little kindness made a huge difference.
‘I finally left my marriage in May 2018 and I get happier every day, with sweet pets and a peaceful home. You may have guessed my ex-husband was violent and controlling. It has only recently sunk in just how awful he was.
‘Amazingly, I was always worrying about him: he’d drink and drive, take drugs etc. Then one day, I read yet another newspaper story about a husband who had arrived home after taking cocaine and killed his wife and my mind changed, realising I should look after myself.
I sneakily rented a house 200 miles away and then left him a month later.
My life is now lovely, I feel as if I’ve another 50 years to enjoy. I have a good job and good friends and I’m telling you all this for two reasons.
‘One, I often see people writing to you with similar problems but they think they are too old to change. And, secondly, I have never forgotten your kindness to me.’
P’s story is uplifting and important and I’m grateful to her for sharing it. As I wrote last week, we all need to encourage each other.
Leaving a relationship (or a job) can be so daunting, yet P reminds us that it can be done, creating a better life as a result.
As for ‘kindness’ — yes, you never know how precious just a few words can be.
Bel answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Scottish Daily Mail, 20 Waterloo Street, Glasgow G2 6DB, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.