Hardcastle

EIghTEEn months after the death of the Queen, most of her 600-plus charities are still without a patron. They include the Royal Academy, the Royal Society of Chemistry, the British Veterinary Association, the Royal College of Physicians, London Zoo, the Royal Pharmaceutical Society, the RSPCA, RSPB, MCC, RADA, the Royal Academy of Music and the Royal Philharmonic Society. Smaller outfits like the Jersey Cattle Society and the Queen Victoria Clergy Fund aren’t losing any sleep but the failure to renew royal patronages has irked the big beasts.

LIAM Neeson was asked by Bond boss Barbara Broccoli if he would succeed Roger Moore as OO7. ‘I got a couple of calls from Barbara... I said, “Yeah, I’d be interested”,’ Liam remembers. ‘And she [his then-fiancee Natasha Richardson] went, “If you play James Bond, we’re not getting married!”’ Neeson mischievously adds: ‘I guess there were Bond girls and things.’ Liam and Natasha wed shortly afterwards... while the part went to fellow Irishman Pierce Brosnan. gEORgE Osborne recalls the last days of Margaret Thatcher at the Ritz hotel guarded by two police officers sitting on chairs outside her suite. ‘The one perk was that they could get a free breakfast,’ Osborne tells The Spectator. ‘One morning, the two officers head off to the dining room as usual to tuck into a full English. One of their phones went and it’s their supervising officer. “how’s Lady Thatcher doing?” he asked. “Just fine, thanks,” the one with the phone replied. “Oh right, because on the TV it says she’s dead.” Without missing a beat the protection officer said: “Yes sir, we know. The doctors have been coming and going all morning and swore us to secrecy.”’

DESPITE Donald Trump’s unsavoury reputation with women, Fiona Bruce is keen to get to know him better. ‘I’d love to spend a week following Donald,’ Fiona, pictured, tells Woman & Home. ‘What’s it like at supper time with him and Melania? When he gets himself ready, what is that hair and sunbed routine?’ What’s Fiona’s motive? Perhaps as presenter of Antiques Roadshow she seeks a close up examination of a 77-year-old relic.

BBC Today’s resident throttlebottom nick Robinson concludes his kid glove quizzing of Labour’s Angela Rayner over her tax returns by wishing her happy birthday: ‘I do hope there are better aspects to your birthday than talking to us here on the Today programme!’ he mewls. ‘You weren’t that bad nick, don’t worry,’ purrs Rayner. ‘Enjoy a nice glass of something nice,’ meows Robinson. get a room chaps!