KEY TO HAPPINESS
The latest BMW 7 Series discreetly edges ahead of its Mercedes S-Class rival
The new BMW has more going on than just its key, but that is awesome
The driver who delivered my BMW 7 Series for a week’s loan had a confession to make. ‘It took me two days to learn this car,’ he told me. ‘A considerable part of one day was spent on the key alone.’
This man’s job is to hand over a new 7 Series and put the owner in a position to enjoy their £60,000+ box of tricks. The transfer session normally takes about two hours; at least 15 minutes is usually taken up with the customer gasping in amazement at the key.
Shaped like a spearhead, this flat object would occupy most of the palm of a man’s hand. Little buttons perform all the functions of a remote control but, if you stroke the centre of the pad with your thumb, it comes alight in a digital display. What you’re holding is a portable personal computer that can remotely set the interior temperature in the car, switch on the lights and perfectly boil an egg.
Perhaps we’re pushing it with that last bit, but the key fob actually does contain the information technology to park the car remotely – with the driver standing beside it. No kidding.
This is the sixth generation of the 7 Series luxo-barge for heads of state and chief executives produced by BMW since 1977. Every iteration has been intended to rival the Mercedes S-Class, which is the ne plus ultra of conveyances for big cheeses. Every 7 Series has come close, but fallen fractionally short. This time, BMW has thrown the equivalent of the technology and budget for an international space station into the effort – and it feels as if it might have edged it. To my mind, this 7 Series – which is available with xDrive, the BMW ‘s four-wheel drive system – may not merely be a better car than the Mercedes: I would prefer it to a Bentley or a Rolls-Royce.
One reason is that this BMW draws so little attention to itself. Despite being more than five metres long and almost two wide, the 7 Series is like a Moorish palace set behind a plain wall whose exterior gives no hint of the riches within. There’s a misguided touch of Jaguar XK about the chromed air intakes behind the front wheels and the radiator grille has been given chromed pipes, so that it looks like… er, a radiator, but otherwise, the intention of this luxury car is to efface itself.
The interior, though, is unashamed opulence, especially for rear-seat passengers, who have more leg and head room than in the Mercedes. My car came with upholstered leather, heated, massaging seats, multimedia screens hanging from both front seatbacks and a seven-inch tablet to control all the electronic doodahs, including the television. That tablet also doubles as a web browser connected to an in-car WiFi system.
The Bowers & Wilkins Diamond audio system puts out 1400Kw through a 10-channel amp and 16 speakers. This dwarfs the power and sophistication of my home system.
For such a gargantuan car to accelerate like a hot hatchback, from 0-60mph in 6.4 sec (on its way to an electronically limited top speed of 155mph), is jaw-dropping, but the fact it stops even quicker is more impressive – and reassuring. That certainty of control is continued in the Adaptive Air Suspension and the Active Ride chassis set-up, which ensure such a honeyed ride and secure cornering you can find yourself driving faster than intended because normal warning signs have been smoothed away.
Obviously, my 730Ld model was nowhere near its nominal £68,480 price, its true cost being £81,535 with all those extras. It did, however, achieve an all-time record for a huge luxury car of 34.2mpg in real-world driving. That’s almost as amazing as
the key.
‘For such a gargantuan ‘ This was an car to unexpected accelerate experience in like a hot the same way hatchback is you might be jaw-dropping surprised but the fact to be served that it stops caviar in a even quicker transport café’ is more impressive’