ANYTHING CAN APPIN

Once upon a time there was a man called Ben Becula who was much Harrised lest he might Lewis his life. Soay took a cocktail of Eigg and Rhum, though it seemed Eriskay drink, especially as he wasn't Uist to it, and anything might Appin.

Shortly he said, 'Iona feel a little Tiree, so Islay me down and en-Jura little pain'.

So his soul went to Skye and they took his body away in a Barra. As for his poor wife Lis – more, she Canna bear being so a Knoydart. Indeed, it's a wonder the shock of his being thus Stornoway has St. Kilda. Elizabeth Salvesen, Midlothian