THE KILLER GRANNY
When Irene Cattanach was marooned on a tropical island as part of Bear Grylls’ TV show Treasure Island, it marked the beginning of a great adventure for the 75-year-old Aberfeldy great-grandmother, says Stephanie Abbot
Irene Cattanach showed her survival skills when beached on a tropical island for Bear Grylls' TV show
Things to do in retirement: properly tend to the garden, cruise around the Med, take up a craft or bake until your heart’s content.
With world award-winning homemade jam, and the tastiest scones to go with it, Irene Cattanach has certainly nailed the baking side of things. But what the 75-year-old has also done, could defeat even the fittest of millennials because Irene is the oldest ever contestant to go on (and complete) Bear Gryll’s Treasure Island.
Settling down to a kitchen table laden with homemade scones, jam and chocolate cake all set out on delicate pretty plates – with Irene surrounded by three of her doting grandchildren
– I was told the story of how this greatgrandmother found herself in the depths of an uninhabited Pacific island thousands of miles from her cosy bungalow in Aberfeldy for 35 days...
‘We saw on the TV: “Apply for the next series”, and we all watch it together so we’d all said, “Oh could you imagine if Nan got on that?,”’ says Lucy, Irene’s 15-year-old granddaughter. ‘We went on the computer, had a wee look at the application and filled it out. Then Nan went away to make a coffee and said, “Oh just get rid of it and I quickly put in the last little bit and sent it and said, “I’ve deleted it. I’m just looking at shoes now.”’
A week went by and Irene received a very unexpected phone call from the show’s production company inviting her to come to London for an audition. Once she realised the call wasn’t a prank Irene agreed to go along and after Bear Grylls saw her audition tape he insisted that Irene be on the programme.
For Irene the challenges began almost instantly as Bear dropped the 12 contestants – who included an ex-marine, a writer, a plumber, a doctor and a nurse and the great great great grandson of Queen Victoria – off in a bay 100m or so away from the shore of the island. Bear said, “Okay off you go, there’s your island, stay for 35 days – have a nice time. Get out of the water as quickly as possibly because there are crocodiles in this bay,” explained Irene. Unable to swim and afraid of water, you’d think she would have fallen at the first hurdle but with a bit of help from her fellow contestants, Irene made it safely to shore without so much as a nibble from a croc.
This was Irene’s initiation into what would be the toughest and most brutal five weeks of her life. ‘You have no comb, no towel, no toothbrush, nothing. You have a backpack with a five
litre jerrycan of fresh water for two days, a machete, a knife, a fishing line with two hooks, a torch, a whistle and your mic. I’m five foot and some of the other contestants were six foot something and I had the same weight on my wee back as they had.’
Once on the island and the reality of the situation fully set in, Irene’s stubborn and determined side took over. ‘There were boa constrictors, scorpions, tarantulas, millions of ants, mosquitoes. So I thought, “Right Mrs, this is a big challenge so get on with it.” Never was I leaving that island before the end. I even kept some of the other people in it that wanted to leave.’
‘When you see me on the programme you see me looking like this wee old lady and that is what they wanted me to look like – I’m starving and hungry.
“There were boa constrictors, scorpions, tarantulas and millions of ants
I tell you I could get over those rocks like a little Scottish mountain goat. Towards the end you see the real me.’
Having had three children, six grandchildren and two great grandchildren – Irene’s maternal instinct naturally extended to her fellow contestants. ‘When I saw the team on the island and we were introducing ourselves, I looked at the girls with their beautiful hair and long nails, lashes and I thought, “How am I going to look after all these girls?” That was the first thing I thought, that’s my nature.’ It was this caring attitude that earned Irene a special place in the team. Nicknamed ‘Killer Granny’ for her knack for hunting and killing hermit crabs, it was Irene’s winkle soup which sustained the group during their hungriest days. Described as a hot, salty, fish broth, Irene collected the winkles every day.
While Bear Grylls had ensured there were enough tools, wildlife and water sources to sustain the group for the full 35 days, actually finding all of these things was entirely up to the team. On the menu were snakes, iguanas, goat, stingrays and fish. Despite being the oldest members of the team and temperatures reaching 40 degrees celsius most days, Irene and fellow contestant, 58 year-old Morag, managed to trap and kill a large female iguana – containing 27 eggs which were ‘lovely scrambled’ – and provide one of the best meals the team ate.
“Nicknamed Killer Granny for hunting hermit crabs, her winkle soup sustained the group
While fighting to survive was tough enough, a battle to find a share of £100,000 intensified the bickering and arguments on top of the strain of the desperate hunger pangs. Dropped from a helicopter and attached to a small parachute, boxes of money were dotted all over the island with no way of knowing how much was in each. For Irene, hacking through the jungle in search of the cash wasn’t an option, particularly with the words of her husband Euan ringing in her ear. ‘Don’t worry about the money, just keep yourself safe.’
Tensions grew as more boxes dropped and it became clear some members of the team intended on keeping as much money to themselves as possible. In the end, a change of heart among the camp led to Irene eventually leaving the island with a £5,000 share of the cash.
When she considers what her time on the island taught her, Irene now knows just how far sheer gritty determination can take you. ‘I’ve always known I’m a very stubborn person and this just proved it. What I wanted to put out there is, “look just because you’re in your 70s, age doesn’t come into this. Get out there and do it!” Maybe not as extreme as the island but do get out there and enjoy yourself, don’t say, “Oh, I’m retired so I’m not going to do that.” There’s nothing that stops me. If I want to do anything I’ll do it.’ The full series is available on All 4.