DOMESTIC BLISS
Groundhog Day continues, but life at home is on the up as the Chief elects to take on some household chores, says Fiona Armstrong
Lockdown life continues, but Fiona Armstrong is bemused to see the Chief taking on some household chores
Itell you, this lockdown is doing strange things to folk, not least to the male of the species. Walking into his office I find the chief busy with a bit of housework. Now, this is not a man used to flicking a duster, so hold the front page because this is big news.
Let me be clear. My husband is not a lazy man. Cutting all that wood to feed our ever-hungry log burners, salting the frozen paths in the morning, dealing with the dogs, clearing the gutters and drains, checking car tyres and screen wash, plucking pheasants and even remembering to put out the bins. All those macho jobs that men like to do and are generally good at.
For years now it has been a case of girl jobs and boy jobs, but now with extra time on his hands it seems he has turned his attention to the hoover. There he is getting to grips with the thing that has until now remained a mystery item to him.
I take a picture. I also phone a friend, who appears less interested in the fact that he has at long last discovered where it lives, and is more concerned about what on earth he might be needing to clear up.
What has he managed to spill on the carpet that cannot wait for the staff (ie: me) to deal with?
I wonder if it might be just a touch of boredom. After all, in this scary new world we now live in it appears that we are all turning our hand to jobs that might previously have been left to others.
Then it could always be the novelty, because this is the super duper new-fangled hand-held machine he is using. With this one there is no old-fashioned flex to fall over. No cumbersome contraption to push round the floor. This thing is rather fun to use.
But it gets better. A day later and I come down to breakfast where the chief announces with great pride that he has just changed his first nappy. Let me explain…
Here at Armstrong MacGregor Towers we have gone from a household of two humans and two dogs to a home of three of each. I think I told you that DD (Darling Daughter) moved back in last autumn, and with her came her beloved Chow Chow.
Delilah is a lion-faced fur baby whom we all adore. She is a heavenly hound and she has just had her first heat which drives our male Norfolk Terrier and Cocker Spaniel into a frenzy. They cannot eat. They cannot sleep.
They know they should be doing something, but they are so old they cannot remember what it is. Yes, the MacNaughties may now be geriatrics, but the urge is still there. And as a Cocker Chow mix (a Chocker?!) is not an enticing thought, we need to take action.
It is decided that Delilah must stay in the back kitchen and on top of that she must wear a nappy. But for obvious reasons it will, of course, be removed from time to time so she can go outside and do what dogs do.
Hence the chief ’s early morning efforts. Well done that man. Another first…
Having three hounds has certainly helped make the last few months bearable. For them, meanwhile, this lockdown is something of a blessing. The announcement that we are confined to base for the foreseeable future may be met with horror from the humans, but it is greeted with delight by the doggies.
But then theirs is a narrow world. And in the midst of all this misery to have someone around who doesn’t care about Brexit or Covid, that is something of a blessing.
“With extra time on his hands, it seems he has turned his attention to the hoover
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