QUAY TO HAPPINESS

The Mystery Diner heads to the East Neuk to try out a small but perfectly formed fish restaurant in a former smokehouse

At long last our Mystery Diner returns, heading to the East Neuk to try a small but perfectly formed eatery

As a culinary conundrum, it is up there with such perennial questions as what meal the condemned man would choose for his last supper, and why does Mary Berry’s hair never move.

After what seems like a hiatus that has lasted for a decade, it was time to consider where I would go for my first restaurant review of this bright new era.

The past 18 months has allowed me to draw up a hitlist so long that it’ll take years to work my way through it. So I thought I’d ease myself in gently. Despite the endless enticing options, many of them wantonly flashy, I thought I’d start at somewhere more low-key and workaday, somewhere I’ve been meaning to review for literally years.

The East Pier Smokehouse is on the quayside in the beautifully preserved East Neuk of Fife village of St Monans. Two miles down the coast from the impossibly affluent Elie, yet lacking its neighbour’s magnificent white sandy beach, St Monans has retained much of its character.

It also has a working harbour, which has in turn seen two fish-based eateries spring up here. At one end of the St Monans seafront is the upscale Craig Millar @ 16 West End, a highlyrated fine-dining fish restaurant. At the other is East Pier Smokehouse, which has a more laid-back atmosphere and, crucially, more sensible prices.

This has ensured this building, which started life as a smokehouse before becoming public toilets, and finally being converted into a restaurant, has finally found its calling under the tutelage of artist Alan Kilpatrick, who runs the front of house with aplomb, and his chef partner James Robb.

They have taken what is a relatively small building with tardis-like qualities and turned it into somewhere capable of catering for 120 people in non-Covid times. Many of those are on a beautiful terrace looking directly over the mouth of the Firth of Forth and the Isle of May, so an ideal spot when the sun is shining.

Yet in any weather the nicely rustic interior space, which has nine tables and is on the top deck of the building (the kitchen takes up the ground floor), is also a wonderful place to while away a couple of hours.

Although the numbers that can be catered for during Covid are significantly reduced, the need to book a table does at least mean that you can guarantee to be served. Before Covid, a first-come system was in place which eliminated no-shows but meant that on sunny days the place could be a bit of a mob scene.

Now, with pre-booking and pre-ordering of food the order of the day, most of the trade is from locals, who have supported the smokehouse in their droves. Every lunch and dinner for the next three weeks was booked when we visited.

It’s easy to see why the place is so popular. The menu is shortish but excellent, with all the fish flappingly fresh and locally sourced (in the early days Robb actually fished for mackerel himself).

Our starters were a case in point. We gave the smoked salmon, cullen skink and smoked salmon pâté a swerve and went for crab overload with a dressed crab and crabcakes with wild garlic mayonnaise. The former was completely outstanding: a huge crabshell packed with crabmeat and served with salad. The deeplyfried crabcakes were second in show, but good enough.

Our main courses were similarly solid. There were 16 options, including whole lobster, plus two meat dishes and a vegetarian option. This time there were several dishes I liked the look of – tempura prawns, pan-fried sardines and roast smoked hake chief among them – but we opted for the smoked fish yellow curry, and the hot-smoked sea bass.

The sea bass was perfectly cooked, with a beautifully delicate flavour that had been enhanced by the hot smoking process. The real star of the show, however, was the voluminous curry, which was packed with prawns and gloriously succulent chunks of smoked haddock and salmon. Flavoured with coconut, lemongrass and lime, this was a massive portion which I struggled manfully (yet failed) to finish. I’m a massive fan of fishy curry, especially of the Goan variety or made with

“This is excellent locally and ethically sourced food served in spectacular seafront surroundings

monkfish, so I like to think of this as an area of expertise, and if I have a criticism it is that it was slightly underspiced. Still, it certainly allowed the flavour of the smoked fish to be showcased.

It’s almost a rule at fish restaurants that pudding tends to be after the lord mayor’s parade, but the desserts at East Pier were actually pretty decent. The options weren’t mind-boggling but were well produced. We chose a nicely chewy pavlova and a slick white chocolate pannacotta, but could have gone for crème brûlée, pastel de nata or chocolate and passion fruit cheesecake.

As its popularity with East Neuk locals clearly indicates, there is much to like about this relaxed yet bustling restaurant, but was there anything I didn’t like about East Pier? I understand why, but I’m really not that fond of having my food come in paper boxes. And to the lady who cheerfully changed her toddler’s nappy on the floor of the restaurant in full view of her fellow diners while there was an empty terrace just feet away, please have a word with yourself.

But those are minor quibbles. This is great locally and ethically sourced food, well cooked and served in spectacular seafront surroundings, at a price which won’t scare the horses. That’s a rare combination. Little wonder they’ve been so succcessful.