‘We’re still in utter shock and disbelief that it happened and we’re missing her more every day’
PAUL and Gemma Black have spoken for the first time about the loss of their beautiful daughter Pearl – and how they are slowly attempting to rebuild their lives after the tragedy that touched everybody’s hearts.
One-year-old Pearl Black died in August after a Range Rover rolled across a road and demolished a wall which fell on to her in Heolgerrig, Merthyr Tydfil.
Since then the close-knit community has rallied around the family and has so far raised thousands to support them.
Now, as Paul and Gemma attempt to put their lives back together, as a police investigation continues into their daughter’s death, they’ve spoken at length about:
The incredible gestures from the community who have shown them overwhelming support;
How they are learning to cope with the pain that has engulfed them for the sake of their son Ace;
The astonishing funeral that saw the streets of Merthyr lined with people wanting to pay their respects;
How part of the money raised is helping them to move on with a tattoo business named after precious Pearl;
How they escaped to Spain as they couldn’t bear to be at home on what would have been Pearl’s second birthday;
The memories of their little girl that they can’t bring themselves to lose;
And that fateful day when their lives changed forever.
Pearl died on Sunday, August 6. For her parents Paul and Gemma, life became a living hell. They’ve experienced every parent’s worst nightmare, but the strength and the fortitude they have shown is extraordinary. They’re determined to move on for the sake of themselves and their nine-month-old son Ace.
“Surviving is probably the best way to describe it,” said Gemma, when asked to describe how they are coping. “We’re still in utter shock and disbelief that it has actually happened and we’re missing her more every day. It’s very difficult.
“We’re lucky we’ve got Ace. If we didn’t have him I probably would have crawled into a ball and stayed there. He’s nearly 10 months old. He needs love, he needs laughter, he needs to have good memories. We have got to keep going for him.”
Paul said their young son is “saving their lives”, but the former musician still feels enormous guilt at the rare moments of light in the darkness.
“If it wasn’t for Ace I would have hit a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bunch of pills,” said Paul, a tattoo artist, who at the weekend reopened his former Flamin’ 7s Tattoo Parlour in Merthyr as Pearl’s Tattoo Emporium. “He’s saving our lives at the moment. We have to change focus for him, but the guilt you feel for feeling good is awful.
“I’ve had people helping me refurbish the shop and I’ve laughed quite a bit, but I knew I was going to come down with a crash. That happens every day – the guilt I felt for forgetting her for one second.”
Especially difficult are the waves of pain the pair said can arrive unexpectedly without warning.
“Part of the day Paul is working in the shop and has friends to distract him and I’m playing with Ace or bathing him, but then you get that kick in the chest and it comes back,” said Gemma.
“We know nothing will ever be normal again,” added Paul. “It can come from nowhere and get you in a chokehold. I was physically floored last Saturday, my legs had gone and I couldn’t stand up. I cried so hard.
“You don’t know how it’s going to affect you, how you’re going to react and where it’s going to come from.” Memories of Pearl are all around them. “She’s everywhere,” said Gemma. “You open a drawer and there’s a sock there or a hair bow – and it’s lovely, but it’s that realisation that she’s not here and she’s not going to put that sock on again or need that hair bobble.”
“We can’t clean the windows and the bottom of the TV and the fire or everything she could reach because it’s still got her little fingerprints on it,” said Paul. “I can’t wipe them away because they’re her fingerprints.”
Paul and Gemma said the support of friends, family and the wider community – who have rallied round the couple, showering them with love and comfort – has proven a priceless gift.
“We’re incredibly lucky we’ve got such good friends and family, they’re propping us up,” said Gemma. “We see family every day. My closest friends I speak to all the time and they come and visit regularly.
“I find it quite cathartic to write things down and they bought me a beautiful book that they had handmade for us with beautiful pearls on it. They do things like that all the time to let us know they’re there, it’s priceless.
“Merthyr gets a very bad press sometimes, but when the chips are down we stick together. The number of things that have been done on our behalf to raise money such as the eight-hour 30km walk from Brecon to Merthyr in mountainous terrain, which included jumping in muddy puddles [because Pearl was a huge fan of Peppa Pig] that was amazing, the band day in the Crown [pub], the massive bike ride, but there’s been lots of little things too.
“We’ve come home and there has been food parcels on our doorstep. We’ve had notes saying ‘just in case you don’t want to go out’ accompanied by practical things like washing-up liquid and babies’ nappies.”
Paul added: “Our 10-year-old nephew George’s mates put their pocket money together and came round with a big bunch of flowers and a large bar of Dairy Milk Oreo, handed it to me and said, ‘chocolate makes everybody feel better.’
“Then there was a young lady who knocked the door and said, to be from the are and then she thr Gemma’s hands. I
“After she hand just felt I needed Gemma. “She gav care’ and off she w
“My mother h mothers of childr disaster who she ‘we can’t even im we had each othe their little girl and
Thousands of p community eager port for the family able to Paul and G
“At first we wo fundraising, but w ple want to do so and we’ve been o port and can’t th Gemma. “They w it really has helpe
Part of the mon ing fundraising p memorial garden rium, while some to reopen his rebr memory of Pearl.
“We just felt thought, ‘what do of pounds people to be Pearl’s leg future. It was form was black and re now everything i