I’d be tempting fate to say that everything is well nigh perfect now. But...

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS

COULD raising twins be getting easier?

Somehow, the last few weeks haven’t seemed as labour intensive. It’s not quite a relaxed lifestyle just yet, but things are changing.

Let’s look at the evidence: 1) We used to carry them upstairs but now they race each other up to bed. The winner receives cheers and applause while the loser receives encouragement and commiserations. Obviously, the fostering of competition between siblings is controversial but better they learn now that life is about winning.

2) They’ve started playing together in the living room. This occasionally drifts into fighting, but the important thing is I can sit back and watch them frolic.

My role has drifted into that of a judge and I simply decree who has rights to toys or legitimate access to the sofa.

3) Meal times are less arduous because we place food in front of them and leave them to it.

Gone are the days of shovelling mush into mouths and we can all dine together. It’s maybe not what you’d describe as civilised. Yesterday, I found myself holding a large sandwich in my mouth because Emma had stolen my plate, while I tried to remove a giant piece of broccoli from Thomas’ throat, which he refused to accept as something he couldn’t swallow.

4) Amazingly, they’re also attempting to dress themselves, it’s taken me 40 years to learn how to put clothes on and even now I’ll occasionally leave the house with my shirt, socks and jacket all tucked into my trousers.

We still have to help them but it’s far better than the old days when putting a jacket on Thomas was akin to wrestling a freshly caught trout.