‘i thought my husband was having an affair - but he actually wanted to be a woman’
WHEN Kelly Allen’s husband Warren began hiding his phone and acting secretively, she feared he was having an affair.
But when she confronted him she was shocked to discover the only other woman in his life was him.
Warren, 38, had suppressed the belief that he was transgender since his late teens even though he and Kelly had been married for 10 years and had two children together.
Finally he couldn’t keep his secret any longer and confessed: “I’m not having an affair – there’s no one else. The truth is I want to be a woman.”
Kelly, 37, from Cathays, Cardiff, listened stunned as Warren said he now wanted to be called Zoey and have gender reassignment surgery which he’d been secretly researching on his mobile.
But the full-time mum realised she loved her husband too much to lose him and so agreed that he would become her wife instead.
Now they are planning to get married again with them both walking down the aisle in wedding dresses.
“I know it sounds shocking that my husband is now becoming my wife,” said Kelly.
“But we’re happy and it would have been far worse if he’d said he was having an affair. That would have destroyed our family, but this way we’re still happily together.
“It was a total shock when he told me. We’ve been together 11 years, had two beautiful children together and I had no idea. He’d never mentioned anything like this before.”
With his neatly-trimmed beard, strapping 6ft 2in frame and cropped hair, Warren was Kelly’s dream man when they met in a pub in 2007.
“I liked him straight away,” she said. “But it was a mental connection as well as a physical attraction.”
The couple didn’t have much money so when Warren proposed he gave Kelly a Welsh love spoon as he couldn’t afford an engagement ring.
They married the following year, on December 11, 2008, with Warren in a top hat and tails and Kelly in an emerald green dress.
“We were so excited to be husband and wife,” said Kelly.
“Two days later I discovered I was pregnant and we were thrilled.”
Warren was a hands-on dad and loved singing in a band and skating, as well as working as an administrator.
Kelly didn’t think anything was wrong with their “perfect” marriage until they began planning a fancy dress party for their 10th wedding anniversary last year.
“We both love the ’80s so decided to have that as our theme,” Kelly said.
“I was going to go as the receptionist out of Beetlejuice while Warren wanted to go as a skater girl. I thought it would be fun, but he began obsessing about it immediately.
“He shaved off his beard, did a complete body wax and started using diet pills. He even used masking tape and bought a corset to cinch in his waist.
“Afterwards I noticed he kept wearing the corset, which I thought was odd.
“I kept asking what was wrong but he said he was fine. He wouldn’t let me see his phone though so I was sure he had someone else. We tried to have a good Christmas for the children, and planned to dress up for New Year’s Eve.
“In the end I didn’t feel like it but he wanted to wear something of mine – a sparkly black skirt and top. I was confused about what was going on.
“Warren looked very scared so I asked for a chat. I didn’t know what I was going to hear and I blurted out ‘Do you want to be a woman?’
“I never expected him to say yes but he nodded and burst into tears. The rest of the night was a blur as I was so shocked. I didn’t suspect but I was angry as I didn’t understand why he hadn’t said anything all that time.
“The next day was my birthday so we went out to talk more and I realised I had to let Warren be Zoey. It wasn’t fair for me to stop that, and I realised I loved the person not the gender.”
Zoey, who is studying to be a sound engineer, was terrified she’d lose Kelly and their children George, nine, and Molly, eight, after revealing that he was a woman trapped in a man’s body.
“I was risking everything,” Zoey said. “But I couldn’t keep it hidden any longer as it was making me depressed. Kelly was shocked but supportive. I’m lucky as our relationship is now stronger than ever.”
Zoey is now having hormone replacement therapy and waiting to referred to a gender identity clinic.
“I can’t wait to look on the outside how I feel on the inside,” she added. “I want to have surgery to become a woman.
“‘I realised I was different when I hit puberty and would cry about my body. I didn’t want it to change. It took a lot longer to realise I was a woman trapped in a man’s body.
“I didn’t know anything about being trans and thought it was wrong so I didn’t want to address it. Then I met Kelly and fell in love and tried to hide that side of me and those thoughts. I did suffer from bouts of depression but tried to push all those feelings aside.
“I couldn’t confide in anyone, but once I’d dressed up for our party something changed in me. I thought this was the chance to tell Kelly the truth and to be the real me. I’m so lucky she still loves me – and the children have been totally accepting.”
The couple told their children that Daddy is now Mummy Zoey and would be dressing “just like Mummy”.
“They accepted it straight away. Molly smiled and said ‘if that’s what makes her happy,’” Kelly added.
“But one day I was upset and George asked me what was wrong. I told him that I missed Daddy and he said ‘He’s still there inside Mummy Zoey.’
“I realised it was the truth. Warren hasn’t gone anywhere – he is just a she now called Zoey.”
Now Kelly and Zoey go shopping for clothes together and share make-up tips.
“I do feel vulnerable sometimes,” Zoey confessed.
“It can be hard with people staring and pointing – I’m very tall and have red hair so it’s hard not to miss me, but I’m not that confident yet. I avoid looking anyone in the eye and ignore men who go by jeering and shouting.
“Luckily the negative comments are less when we go out as a family, and my children are very protective. Once when people were laughing about me my daughter Molly said ‘Why are you being so mean – what has she done to you?’ They love me however I am.”
Kelly now defends Zoey if people are rude to her in public.
“We went to a pizza restaurant the other day and everyone was staring,” she said.
“Then I saw the chef and the staff nudging each other and laughing. I was furious and wanted to make a complaint but Zoey stopped me.”
The couple are planning their wedding for as soon as Zoey’s had reassignment surgery, which could take three to four years.
“We’ve created a wedding board on Pinterest,” Zoey said.
“We want to have a blessing and a big party for all our friends and family. I will wear a big gown and a small veil while Kelly still loves green. We’ll both be blushing brides.”
Their love life is better than ever, she insists. “We’re so much closer and so we’re just as intimate, but it’s more intense as I don’t have to keep any secrets any more,” Zoey said.
“Once I have the surgery we’ll have to find new ways to explore each other.”
Kelly is looking forward to their future together as wife and wife. “I love her so much,” she said.
“Zoey’s been honest and I want to look after her. She’s been so brave, and I want everyone to accept her. I have and I’m happy that she doesn’t have to hide anything any more.
“I’m glad that she’s told me the truth – becoming a woman is far better than her having an affair which is what I feared at the time. We’re still a happy family and that’s all that matters.”
For more information about Kelly and Zoey visit their website Our Transitional Life.