Mum’s plea after girl’s tragic death
‘i want to remember Manon by trying to protect others’ MOTHER OF TEEN WHO TOOK HER OWN LIFE SPEAKS OUT AS REPORT WARNS OF COVID IMPACT ON YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH
THE mother of Manon Jones, who took her own life aged 16 in 2018, has spoken about the agony of losing her daughter and the gaps in mental health services for young people.
Nikki Jones, from Cardiff, said she wanted to share her experiences to help others. She is supporting a Senedd committee report published today which calls for changes to mental health services for children and young people.
The document – Mind Over Matter Two Years On – warns the situation is even more urgent now, saying the impact of Covid-19 on young people’s mental health is worse than the virus itself.
Manon, a high-achieving pupil at Ysgol Plasmawr in the capital and keen horse rider, died in 2018 a week after turning 16. She had suffered bouts of depression for around a year and was getting medical help.
Nikki and husband Jeff knew their daughter was ill but did not know how critical it had suddenly become in the snowy early spring of 2018. They didn’t recognise warning signs suggesting her condition had suddenly turned life threatening.
When Manon began giving away favourite clothes and a bracelet they didn’t know that was “a red flag”.
Describing losing a child like this as “the most traumatic, complex grief”, Nikki said she and Jeff mourn the child they have lost as well as the future she’ll never have.
“Manon was a really caring and sensitive girl. She was the most gentle and loving person. She cared deeply about her friends and family and the planet,” said Nikki.
As she approached her 16th birthday Manon’s mood seemed good, before things changed suddenly.
“We had a couple of good months when she reconnected with friends from school and was positive about life but then she felt she was becoming unwell again.
“It’s terrifying because when your child is that unwell their internal world becomes so huge it’s really hard to reach in and as a parent you are programmed to save them.”
Nikki said parents as well as schools and the wider community need to know more about youth mental health and what to watch for.
To help this she has set up the Manon Foundation to raise awareness and mentors parents whose children are ill.
“What we want parents to have is a really clear understanding of depression and self harm and understand the signs of suicide so that you know if things have met a tipping point and can be confident services should swing into emergency mode.
“Manon was going to give away a bracelet that meant a lot to her and was giving things like her jumpers away. When she was doing that we had no idea that was a red flag warning sign.”
A high-achieving student, Manon loved riding her horse Stella and played piano and viola. But Nikki, whose older daughter Megan, 21, is in her second year at university, believes young people are under too much pressure academically and from social media as well as facing uncertain times in the pandemic.
“I don’t feel we have effective critical care for young people. It’s also about understanding their distress. Too many rugs are being pulled from under their feet now because of Covid and other things and we’ve got to understand the signs.
“As a society I don’t think we focus enough on young people. I feel no one is responding to the biggest killer of young people and the pandemic has been even more destabilising for them. It’s affecting their expression of being 16, 18, 21. Mental health services for them were not coping even before all this.
“I want to remember Manon by trying to protect others and lobbying for change. We are the symbol of what happens when it goes wrong.”
A delayed inquest into Manon’s death is due to be held next year, Nikki said.
She and Jeff are backing the Mind Over Matter report by the Children, Young People and Education Committee, which emphasises the damage the pandemic is having on children and young people’s emotional and mental health.
It calls on the Welsh Government to do more to help children and young people.
The report says while there has been some progress in schools’ approaches to emotional and mental health, changes to improve the situation across all our public services – including in the NHS and local government – are not happening fast enough.
Launching the report, the committee warned: “The impact of the current pandemic makes these changes more necessary now than ever before.”
In its earlier Mind over Mattter report in 2018, the committee warned “big change” was needed in emotional and mental health support and services available for children and young people in Wales.
Two years on, it said its follow-up report “shows that our children and young people are still struggling to find the emotional and mental health support they need, both at an early stage to help prevent problems developing and later, when things have deteriorated and specialist care is needed”.
Evidence for findings came from
ministers, health professionals and young people. Dr David Tuthill, from the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, told the committee: “Children are probably unlikely to be directly affected by the virus with physical illness – that’s uncommon in terms of severe illness.
“What they have been affected by quite greatly is, if I could call it, collateral damage – their schools have been closed, their clubs have been shut, they can’t socialise. All those things have affected children, and they’re very anxious, because there’s a lot of worry about coronavirus.”
Lynne Neagle MS, chairwoman of the committee, said: “While we recognise the pressures placed on the Welsh Government and public services by the coronavirus pandemic, we think the collateral damage caused to our children and young people by this public health emergency means a strong focus on the emotional and mental health of children is more essential than ever.”
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