‘i am just devastated that i couldn’t have been there to protect him’
THE father of Logan Mwangi has revealed he suffers nightmares about his murdered son, who comes running into his arms for a hug but disappears.
He paid tribute to Logan, describing him as “the sweetest and most beautiful boy”.
In a statement read out to the sentencing hearing yesterday, Ben Mwangi described how he collapsed when told his son was dead.
He also spoke about the moment he learnt his son’s mother was among those suspected of being responsible for his death.
He said: “On Saturday, July 31, 2021, I was at my place of work when police officers came and told me about the death of Logan.
“They told me that his body had been found in the River Ogmore in the early hours of the morning.
“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I felt so confused. I just collapsed on the floor and hit my head.
“I just felt like every fibre in my body had died and couldn’t stop crying.
“I couldn’t understand how something like this could have happened to my son.
“The rest of the day was a blur as I waited for more information. It was so painful.
“The following day I was made aware that Logan’s mother had been arrested on suspicion of his murder. I am just devastated that I couldn’t have been there to protect him.
“The last 10 months have been hell for me. I experienced a little anxiety when I was younger but this has been majorly exacerbated since the death of Logan.
“I can’t sleep and keep experiencing reoccurring nightmares.
“My dreams of Logan are so vivid.
Logan comes to tell me that he is okay and to check if I’m okay.
“He runs into my arms and I hold him tight but he then slowly disappears until he’s no longer in my arms.
“I wake up screaming and crying. I find it difficult to go back to sleep. I don’t want to go back to sleep because I don’t want to experience these dreams because they are so painful.
“I am still continuing to receive counselling from 2Wish Upon A Star to help support me through this difficult period in my life. I shouldn’t have to bury my son.
“When I did return to work, I lost confidence in doing my role. I am usually the person my manager can rely on to help out, to swap and change shifts, but I found that now I couldn’t work on my own and felt uncomfortable dealing with customers.
“My family have been a massive support for me. However, they are also grieving.
“My father was already unwell but as soon as he heard of Logan’s death he told me that he had given up and was ready to go. My father’s health quickly deteriorated and he also passed away in December 2021. This has also caused further anguish to my family and I.
“My social group has also been impacted to the point of collapse. I can’t go out with friends anymore because I don’t want to go to busy places.
“Everyone knows of Logan’s death and I find that people are always looking at me but don’t know how to treat me or what to say. So I’d rather not go out. At this moment I have extreme trust issues. I can’t see a future in
another relationship or having more children because I don’t want something like this to ever happen to me again. I have accepted that this is my life now.
“Logan was the sweetest and most beautiful boy whose life has been tragically cut short.
“The world is a colder and darker place without this warm smile and the happy energy with which he lived his life. The hole that has been left in the hearts of all who knew him will never be filled. No amount of time can heal the wounds that have been inflicted.
“The wonderful memories I have of my son will never be tarnished. They will forever be in my heart and soul. I loved him so much and somehow I have to live my life knowing that I will never get to see him grow up to be the wonderful man he would have been.”
Meanwhile, in a new ITV documentary about Logan’s death, Mr Mwangi has also spoken about the last time he saw his son – 19 months before his death – and his last memories of him.
Sporting a tattoo of the name Logan on his left forearm, Mr Mwangi said: “I was the first person to hold him when he was born. I used to hold him so tight. He was the best thing that happened to me.
“The last time I actually saw Logan, I took him out for breakfast, I took him out for lunch.
“He wanted to stop for a little bit because he wanted to watch all the workmen working, he wanted to watch a crane and stuff like that. It was a really good couple of days. That was the last time I saw him alive.”
Mr Mwangi was asked what happened when he next contacted Williamson in an attempt to see his son.
He said: “For the past five years I have been struggling and trying to fight to just see Logan and she made my life an absolute misery. All I wanted to do was be a dad.”
Footage was also shown of the moment Mr Mwangi was told by police the extent of Logan’s injuries following the post-mortem examination.
He asked: “What killed him? Did he suffer?” Senior investigating officer detective inspector Lianne Rees, of South Wales Police, responded: “The cause of death was blunt force abdominal injury and some bleeding around the brain.” Mr Mwangi said: “Wow.”
DI Rees said: “There was quite a lot of bleeding. The total number of bruises was 56.” Mr Mwangi said: “Jesus Christ” and became tearful.
The officer added: “There was a high chance of survival if medical attention had been sought in a timely fashion.” Mr Mwangi said: “F ****** hell”.
DI Rees said: “There would have been a survival time of at least several hours.” Mr Mwangi said: “Several hours.”
Mr Mwangi is hoping to set up a law in Logan’s name to require social services to inform parents if their child was at potential risk of harm.
He said: “What child has to go through that sort of torture for such a long period of time? It really doesn’t seem real.
“I probably would have tried to take him away. Why didn’t they do anything to make it a safe environment for him? It clearly wasn’t.”
He added: “If I can stop this from happening to anyone else, that would be the most positive thing. My lasting memory of him was just that happy little boy who called me Daddy.”
A child practice review to determine whether social workers and other safeguarding professionals failed to intervene and save Logan has been launched. A spokesman for Bridgend Council said it was fully participating and it would not be appropriate to comment further until the review was concluded.