The hidden reality of life as an unpaid carer in today’s Wales
LATE nights, early mornings and a lack of work-life balance are just some of the struggles unpaid carers face on a daily basis.
Life has been challenging for Sarah Stevens, who cares for her grown-up daughter.
Sarah’s 18-year-old daughter Isabelle was born with Down’s syndrome, making daily tasks difficult for her to complete. When she was younger she had spine correction surgery after suffering from scoliosis, which meant she has faced numerous health issues.
The devoted Bridgend mum has another daughter Emily, 15.
Emily does not suffer from any physical problems and has also stepped in to help over the years.
But although Isabelle has now entered her first year of adulthood, she would be unable to live her life adequately without the support of her mum.
This means Sarah falls into the category of unpaid carer.
Sarah explained: “Regardless of whether you are in work fulltime, part-time, on universal credit or receiving benefit, you are still a mum but you’re always an unpaid carer. My husband is also an unpaid carer. We do it because it’s our daughter and we love her unconditionally but that’s a big hurdle really for carers in general to understand. It’s almost feeling like it’s undermining your role as a mum because you’re trying to define yourself as a carer.”
Although Isabelle now attends Bridgend College, studying for a catering qualification and gaining independent living skills, the work has not stopped for her mum, who still has to manage a large portion of her daughter’s life.
Sarah said: “You never stop being a carer because I have to sort out her prescriptions, her medications, I have to sort out her transport to and from college. And things change but your responsibilities never end as they get older, and I find sometimes in lots of ways it’s actually harder because while her peers are moving on, getting jobs and being very independent, she’s not able to do any of that.”
Seven years ago Sarah left her full-time job to spend more time looking after her daughter. She recently joined Bridgend Carers as a part-time carer support worker where she can be more flexible in her hours. She said: “It’s difficult for me to find time for me because I haven’t got a lot of energy left at the end of the day. I had to make the decision about whether I was going to struggle on with the job I was doing or finish altogether and, looking back now, it was very scary but it was the best thing I could have done.”
Sarah added: “Some people can never understand because they’ve not lived it themselves. You do put on a face because you don’t want people to think you are failing as a mum or as a carer... There’s a lot of support for people like Isabelle when they are little but after they turn 16 it can be very difficult to access services.”
Carers who accessed services at Bridgend Carers Centre received £2.4m in benefits between April 2020 and March 2021. In this time-frame there were also 600 newly-identified carers and 185 carers received almost £40,000 in individual grants. As part of its annual campaign the charity will focus on carers’ wellbeing and access to mental health services as well as financial issues and the impact of the cost-of-living crisis.