How grieving mum turned her pain into something beautiful
THE grieving mum of a Swansea teenager killed in a late-night car crash has channelled her pain into helping other families going through the agony of loss.
Ben Rogers was just 19 when the car he was travelling in as a passenger crashed at Northway Garage in Bishopston in May 2022.
The teenager had been in a car heading towards Gower when driver Owain Hammett-george, now aged 19, lost control of the car at high speed in a 30mph zone. He was sentenced to six years in prison. Nineteen-year-old Kaitlyn Davies also died in the tragic incident.
Ben’s mum, Carla King, described the moment she received the news that was to change her life forever. She said: “It’s a mother’s worst nightmare. You never think it is going to happen to you. To go through losing a child is horrific but to then go through a legal procedure has just made things even harder and prolonged the grieving process.
“I was in bed when I received the news about Ben. Even though the crash happened just after 11pm they went to his dad’s around 2am and they got to us at around 3.20am. That knock on the door in the middle of the night will haunt me for the rest of my life.
“I am quite spiritual and it is a comfort to know I will see him again and that he is around in spirit. That is probably the key thing for me. It’s a rollercoaster but I’m really trying to help myself because I know that’s what Ben would want.
“We always, always speak about Ben. Everything still revolves around him. We go down to the beach on his bench, we do an annual charity bike ride, we still celebrate his birthday, he’s got his own Instagram page for people to share their memories.
“Ben was wicked, funny, very, very caring and supportive. He loved people, he absolutely loved people, and would go to the opening of an envelope – he’d talk to anybody about anything and wouldn’t judge anyone. He loved the beach, swimming, surfing, camping, fires, just being outdoors. He was a very special person. He was a proper gentleman and really intelligent.
“He was really good at electronics, maths, science, anything like that. He was doing an apprenticeship in electrical engineering at Tycoch college and was doing really well.
“The college got in touch with us and said they were going to plant a tree in Ben’s name because they felt all the students and lecturers were devastated. They invited us down and planted a tree and had a plaque made
and have also named an annual award after him.”
Ms King explained how after picking a headstone for her son she found difficulty in finding good-quality artificial
flowers to decorate his grave. She began to make her own - initially just as motivation to overcome her grief and get her out of bed.
But her efforts have won lots of praise from many after she shared pictures on social media to the extent she has now begun her own business called Ben’s Blooms making similar flowers for anyone else who may want to do the same for their loved ones’ resting place.
She said: “Through losing my son it’s an awful, awful experience having to pick a headstone and decide all of these things. The headstone went in after much deliberation and then it was a case of: ‘Okay - we’ve got four pots now, which is lovely, but fresh flowers, they’re so expensive and they don’t last two minutes.’ In terms of artificial there was nothing out there apart from ordering from ebay or Etsy. There was nothing local that I know of that I could go to or message someone asking for this that or the other.
“For the last five or six years I’ve gone to a wreath-making class around Christmas time and made my own door wreaths and I had really, really enjoyed doing it and that’s when the idea popped into my head to do it for myself. I had made things around Halloween and Christmas and everyone had always commented so I thought to myself I would make them to sell to friends and family.
“I had the idea to make artificial sunflowers and make my own and lots of people commented and I thought I’d put some things on Facebook and I had 20 orders in the first day. I knew there was a gap in the market but I didn’t expect that. I really like doing it and I think it’s because it is for a purpose, making loved ones’ last place of rest to look pretty, and I think that’s the added bonus.
“The last couple of months we’ve been through hell and I’ve been off work. I just wanted something to basically get me out of bed because I was really, really struggling. It was a good little hobby I suppose.
“I’ve had a few people say to me: ‘I’m sick of buying fresh flowers’ and: ‘I’m sick of seeing the graves looks bare’ but a lot of people may not have thought about this. Artificial flowers before were a bit rubbish – there’s some up the crem which are either expensive and extravagant or cheap and not very nice. It’s nice to change through the seasons.
“There have been some people who have ordered from me already who have said how they don’t like going up there (Morriston Crematorium) but that the flowers have really made them smile and that is so nice. It’s the best feedback.
“The plan was at the very beginning, with some of the flowers I’ve had leftover, is to put them on unattended graves. There is quite a few up there with nothing because their relatives may have passed, or they don’t go there, so that is something I’d like to do as well.”