“There is a life without drinking”
Phil Hetherington’s life has been transformed since he got support for his alcohol problem – he recently marked 365 days without drinking
As a teenager, the lure of cheap drinks and big nights out consumed Phil Hetherington.
He lost his dad when he was 14 and went from job to job to fund his social life.
“I got a taste for alcohol. It took me away from real life and became a coping strategy,” says Phil, now 42.
“From Thursday to Saturday, in Hartlepool where you could pay £10 and drink as much as you wanted. Then, on Sunday, it was a pound a drink all day.”
Despite being arrested for crashing his car while under the influence of alcohol, Phil, originally from Hartlepool, remained in denial.
“I had to find rock bottom before I could contemplate “I was just starting to get my life back on track and I’d had my first child when my mum died of cancer, so I went back to my old ways. “I had no parents, I was lonely, I drank more and it was a vicious circle. That’s when I crashed my car, got arrested and lost my licence. But I still wasn’t ready to stop drinking.”
After relocating to Darlington and meeting his partner, AnneMarie, Phil received a card for WithYou, a charity with 80 services across England and Scotland.
Following a three-day bender, he decided to reach out to them.
By this point, he was drinking so much that stopping immediately would have threatened his health, that dark place, you believe you’re the only person in that situation,” he says.
“But you go to your first group, realise you’re not alone and you can chat it out.
I crashed my car but still wasn’t ready to give up drinking
“Places like this are absolutely critical. They’re often led by people who’ve been there themselves, so give it a go and consuming alcohol, Phil now leads his own support group.
It provides activities like pool, dodgeball, and football to promote the mental health of others in
He has also transitioned to a new
“I was in paid work, but my heart wasn’t in that job,” he says.
“My heart was to help people in recovery, so I became a peer support
Anne-Marie and Phil are still together today and their lives have been transformed by his decision to
“There are so many benefits of tackling your drink or drug problem. Not only are you going to feel healthy, you’re also going to get all the amazing friendship and love you’ve been seeking this whole time,”
“There have been so many times I’ve sat there opening can after can, thinking, ‘I want to stop, but I can’t. My partner’s going to be angry with me, but I’ll deal with that’.
“It’s an awful circle. It doesn’t matter how much you drink, the problem is still going to be there in the morning and it only gets worse
“And trust me, there is a life without drinking.”