Grin and bear it
Many thanks for your magazine, which has kept me sane during the past 20 months stuck in the Swedish forest due to COVID-19. Here is a true story, which may raise a smile or two.
It was the first day of the moose-hunting season (1 October) here in southern Sweden and most of the syndicate had arrived at an old house we rented to get an early start the next morning. The only attribute this house had was that it was watertight but it had no heating, plumbing or electricity, and there was an earth closet, or ‘long drop’, about 30 yards down the hill from the house. This was a luxurious three-seater, so the previous occupants must have been keen conversationalists or liked company.
Anyway, when I first used it I noticed an old frying pan hung up on a nail on the wall. Upon my return to the house, I asked the reason for this and was informed that it was a bear scarer and that if you were caught in the long drop and a bear was between you and the house you were to bang the frying pan and make a lot of noise to (hopefully) scare away the bear. Bearing (sorry) in mind that I was the only non-Swede present and was often the butt of the locals’ practical jokes, I was sceptical but kept quiet.
Just before we slipped into our sleeping bags, I again visited the long drop and was about to return to the house when I heard a loud thrashing about in the bushes along with loud grunts and snorts. I immediately thought that it was my Swedish friend, Haken, trying to scare me with his bear imitations, so I grabbed the frying pan and raced up the hill to where all the branches were still shaking about and started walloping the bushes and screaming abuse at my friend. I stopped my assault and shone my torch onto a huge European brown bear, which stood up with an astonished look on its face before galloping off. Another visit to the long drop was then called for.
Terry Coligan, via email