Christmas wish to reduce traffic chaos on my village roads

I HOPE you all had a good Christmas. Did you make any wishes?

I always seem to end up making the same wishes. I guess some people never change.

Being single, I always wish that Blondie’s Debbie Harry will turn up at my front door on Christmas Eve, just on the chance that I might be in.

And because I love bicycles almost as much as Debbie Harry, my second wish is that the price of petrol will double before she has taken her coat off.

That way I get to cycle and keep my legs, because of quieter, safer roads.

Roads have become so clogged up with cars that both pedestrians and cyclists struggle to negotiate them safely.

Here in Marple for example, crossing the main road is not a decision you take lightly. It carries tens of thousands of vehicles daily and the manoeuvre requires great care. I kid you not.

Pedestrians kept waiting interminably at pelican crossing points along its route frequently lose the will to live long before the green man has put in an appearance.

Before setting out to cross our principal thoroughfare you need to prepare a packed lunch and a flask of tea.

Remember that once across, you will need sufficient stamina to get back.

I saw one waiting pedestrian actually reading War and Peace, but I think he was just showing off.

At one set of junctions near the Texaco garage cars can descend on you from five directions, no less.

It is a little-known fact that the worldwide term ‘eyes in the back of your head’ emanated from this place.

In recounting tales of Stockport’s decadent car culture, some would say that I am inclined to exaggeration, especially when I have had a Christmas drink. Moi?! John Tyres Marple