WTF IS THE MOLEY ROBOTIC KITCHEN?

Holy Moley, is the name a giveaway?

Yep, British company Moley Robotics has launched the world’s first robotic kitchen that “cooks from scratch and even cleans up afterwards without complaint”. The brainchild of Russian mathematician and computer scientist Mark Oleynik, it can whip up 5000 freshly cooked meals at the touch of button using a pair of fully articulated ‘hands’ engineered to copy human chefs in motion. It translates those techniques into digital movements using bespoke algorithms. The dextrous robot is considered the height of luxury (and let’s be honest, downright laziness) and incorporates Italian design with German technology. Jackpot.

Shouldn’t it be called Gordon Ramsay?

Groan. Actually, the Moley Kitchen was co-developed with Tim Anderson, the 2011 winner of Masterchef, along with fellow cooks Nicole Pisani and Andrew Clarke, who will be adding new recipes every month. Customers can also record their own family-favourite dishes using Moley’s recipe-creator software tool… although we’re unsure how well it will cope with roast turducken. On a more practical footing, it can retrieve ingredients from the smart fridge, adjust hob temperatures, fill pans and pour, and mix and plate up using a combination of cameras and other sensors.

You mentioned cleaning up…

Those cameras can spot dropped food to clean up before and after cooking, while a UV lamp keeps the cooking area germ-free. If this all sounds wildly expensive, we’ve got bad news: it’s worse than that. The full system including bespoke smart appliances costs £248,000, roughly the same price as the average UK house. Yeah, but can a house cook and clean for you? Exactly. Anyway, Moley claims to have over 1000 potential buyers, with more affordable versions to follow. Until then, you’ll have to keep cooking and start saving up.