VR ALL GOING ON A SUMO HOLIDAY

Stuff ’s crystal-baller has been on an extended vacation… but Matthew Griffin’s break was never going to be normal

As 3.5 billion people entered the first lockdown while governments closed airspace and issued more quarantine notices than tax receipts, many of us missed out on the annual ritual of displacing German beach towels.

But with planes parked and hotel pools eerily empty, travel companies have been thinking about a future holiday utopia where the only worries are deciding whether to play golf on the flight or get flirty with the airline’s AI assistant. More on that in a moment… but first, don’t you want to know what I got up to during my Stuff sabbatical?

As if we gave you a sabbatical, but go on...

As someone who normally travels the world, 2020 was a shock to the system. I replaced the thrill of exploring new places with the thrill of which Zoom backdrop to choose for keynotes: Bali, Bora Bora, the Trafford Centre in Manchester… the closest I got to a holiday last year was walking the streets of Tokyo in VR.

Fine for sightseeing, but what about the smells and flavours of the city?

Well, thanks to Japanese scientists at Meiji University, I was able to try virtual food with a handheld lickable screen that recreates taste when you put it in your mouth. Think of it like licking a stick of Blackpool rock, except the rock’s loaded with electrolytes inserted into gels that control the intensity of each of the five flavours – sour, sweet, bitter, salt and umami (or savouriness). I could have gone further too, using dynamic electromagnetic floors and a haptic suit to fight a Sumo wrestler. And with Google’s Deepmind outfit developing an AI assistant that analyses your opponent’s weaknesses, I’d have won too.

You’re just showing off now, mate. Anyway, what about the language barrier?

What language barrier? AI and natural language processing (NLP) have come on in leaps and bounds in the last five years – so using earbuds, the display on a VR headset or a phone, you can translate every conversation and sign, and communicate like a native without having to learn the lingo.

OK, but can we still have real holidays? Everyone wants to get away…

We can dare to dream for this year, but it’s what comes later that’s exciting. The world’s first hydrogen-fuelled flight has taken place (see right), and Spacex reckons its rockets can whisk us from Kent to Sydney in 45 minutes at Mach 27. Airbus has also been showing off its 2030 and 2050 concept cabins with an in-flight VR golf course for practising your swing before you land and play the course for real, while neural networks personalise your cabin with massage seats, antioxidant-enriched air and panoramic sky views.

Sounds lovely… but what if there’s another pandemic?

In that case I can just slide on a pair of brainwave-reading smart glasses, developed by Korean scientists, to transport me anywhere my imagination takes me. Rather skip this planet altogether? There’s always space tourism with Virgin Galactic, or a Blue Origin mini-break to Jeff Bezos’s lunar base. I hear there’s no quarantine in space, and Amazon says it’s going to be making deliveries to the Moon from 2023. Just don’t expect a one-hour time slot.

I WAS ABLE TO TRY VIRTUAL FOOD WITH A HANDHELD LICKABLE SCREEN THAT RECREATES TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH