WTF IS THE DYSON ZONE?

Come on now, April Fools Day was weeks ago…

We know – but according to Dyson, the Zone (£tba, dyson.co.uk) is no joke. It might look like something from a Saw sequel set in outer space, but this is actually a pair of wireless headphones that double as a wearable air purifier. Or is it the other way around? Dyson started working on them six years ago, back when donning a mask in public would have marked you out as a potential thief; but even with the Covid pandemic making it a more everyday sight, you’d definitely still get a few funny looks with this contraption hugging your bonce.

So how does it actually work?

Each earcup includes a tiny compressor that draws air in through dual-layer filters before channelling two newly purified streams of it through the detachable visor towards the wearer’s nose and mouth. Voilà! Fresh air wherever you go. Dyson claims they can remove 99% of all dust, pollen, and bacteria particles, plus nasty gases such as sulphur dioxide and nitrogen dioxide, with sensors that detect how fast you’re moving and adjust the airflow to match your breathing rate. Via an accompanying app, a built-in air quality sensor tells you when it’s time to change the filters.

And how do they sound?

Well, we’ve been able to listen to them… and while Dyson reckons the neodymium drivers “offer a faithful reproduction as the musicians intended”, there are two problems – and they’re strapped to your ears. Firstly, even though the cans have active noise-cancelling, you can still hear the whirring of the motors. And secondly, if there’s one thing we’ve learned over the past two years it’s to be more aware of what comes out of our face-holes… so is it really such a great idea to wander around with spinning fans next to your gob?