CAMILLA TOMINEY Flagging up a faulty kit
THE OLYMPICS haven’t begun yet we have already won a gold medal. While we might be outsprinted by the Jamaicans and out pingponged by the Chinese, Britain excels in at least one aspect of the Games.
If playing down our heritage was a competitive sport then Locog, the Olympic organising committee, would be taking top spot on the podium every time. It seems to lead the race when it comes to a lack of patriotism.
Take the Olympic logo for starters. Mere amateurs came up with some really clever designs incorporating major London landmarks but what did we end up with instead? A nondescript splodge with barely any reference to the host city and so abstract it would have given Picasso cause for concern. Since when has pink been one of our national colours, except in the mind of my three-year-old daughter?
Then came one-eyed Wenlock and his equally visually-impaired pal Mandeville, our Olympic mascots, who rather than representing anything remotely British, come from outer space. I know London is meant to be the most multicultural city in the world but I cannot remember it ever being home to Martians. Are there no fancydress shops in Stratford that stock lion or unicorn costumes?
If that were not bad enough, we Brits have had to suffer the indignity of not being able to get tickets to our own Games while sports fans from other countries are seemingly able to secure front-row seats for the opening ceremony at the click of a mouse.
In typically British fashion, a third “wave” of tickets was released last month without any prior warning, stirring up yet more suspicion around a seat-selling process so secretive that many still don’t know how much they have paid.
Meanwhile, we read that just nine per cent of all London 2012 merchandise is being made in Britain, with the Olympic scarf (complete with hieroglyphs) recently becoming the latest in a long line of souvenirs made in such far-flung places as India. (I would be very surprised if China doesn’t have its fingerprints on as many knick-knacks as medals this year).
The final straw came last week with the unveiling of the new Olympic kit designed by Stella Mccartney. Correct me if I’m wrong but The Beatles were famous for coming from Liverpool, right, not Livingston? Looking at the new uniforms you would be forgiven for wondering whether they were actually intended for participants in the next Highland Games. All blue and white with less red than an anti-communist rally, they would have been well suited to Braveheart and his battalion.
Stella was given a ready-made pattern in the form of the Union Flag and yet, as only a fashion designer could, chose to reinterpret it in her own unique way.
If St George were alive today he would be questioning whether it was worth slaying that dragon after all.
Perhaps Stella felt a sudden attachment to the Mc in her Cartney. Or maybe she thinks it’s the Barcelona Olympics all over again and that there’s a chance a bull might turn up at the 100m final. We’ll never know.
However, what is certain is that our not quite red-white-and-blue-enough Team GB will look more dressed down than David Cameron in a tracksuit compared to the Americans’ unashamedly Star Spangled Lycra.
When all our athletes are obviously so committed to doing their best for Queen and country, it is a crying shame that those planning the Games seem to be doing their best to airbrush every ounce of patriotism from the proceedings.
With the Queen also celebrating her Diamond Jubilee, 2012 is a glorious year for our land of hope and glory so let’s sing it from the rooftops. Britain is meant to be Great after all. WASN’T Her Majesty’s face a picture when Speaker John Bercow started spouting all that nonsense about her being a kaleidoscope Queen?
One was certainly not amused. Oh to have been a fly in the car back to Buckingham Palace.
Forget Diamond Jubilee addresses and the Budget, Prince Philip on Bercow is the kind of speech it would certainly be worth getting a numb bum for. THE BUS drivers who won £38million on the Euro lottery would have to have hearts of stone not to share their spoils with colleague Hazel Loveday, who had pulled out of their syndicate six months earlier because she couldn’t afford the £2 a week stake.
The 36-year- old single mother collapsed and had to be taken to hospital the day before the group of Stagecoach busmen from Corby, Northamptonshire each won £3.1million.
As Hazel was laid up on the wards, Charles Connor, one of the 12 winners, said: “We all feel sorry for Hazel but what can you do? You’ve got to be in it to win it.”
Oh have a heart! This poor devastated girl is stony broke. Even if they each gave her just £10,000 (pocket change to them now) it would transform her life.
I do hope that once their minds aren’t clouded by the fizz of champagne, they will do the right thing.
I HAVE a great deal of sympathy for Tulisa Contostavlos after her former boyfriend Justin Edwards released a tape of them engaged in a sex act. The X Factor judge showed great courage in admitting that she was the woman in the six-minute footage, which was then put on a website for download at £3.90 a time. People have criticised Tulisa for initially denying it was her in the tape but wouldn’t you if you were in her position?
Yes she should never have allowed herself to be filmed in such a compromising situation but why should she be blamed for someone else’s betrayal
of trust?