Porn please nurse! Sex guide for residents in care homes
NURSES across the UK have been issued with a “sex guide” for the elderly which includes advice on how to help residents in care homes download pornography.
Extra-marital affairs between residents are also acceptable as is the use of sex toys – as long as those involved have the mental capacity.
But staff have been told to draw the line if someone approaches them for help using a prostitute.
The Royal College of Nursing said the guidance has been developed to help nurses and care staff struggling to deal with the “taboo subject” of the sex lives of OAPs.
And it hopes it will help them “work effectively with issues of sexuality, intimate relationships, sexual expression and sex” with people living in homes in “a professional, sensitive, legal and practical way”.
But some may be shocked by the frank tone of the booklet which pulls no punches about the sexual needs of the elderly living in homes.
The 44-page document issued to nurses entitled Older People in Care Homes: Sex, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships includes a recommendation to provide “totally private space where people can be naked if they wish”.
It also says older people have “a strong desire” to maintain “their usual sexual practices which might include cross dressing [and] sadomasochism”.
And it adds that many residents report they enjoy trying new positions and using sex toys.
One case study details a care home resident who wanted to watch pornography in his bedroom and asked staff to order it for him. It was agreed his choice of “entertainment” contributed to his quality of life and was a legitimate aspect of care, although everything must “remain above board”.
Staff helped the man purchase a laptop for his personal use through which he was able to order the material and equipment he wanted, including headphones.
And if he needed help using his computer or DVD player, staff were told they could assist him but they were warned to be vigilant to ensure they remained objective and kept to the nursing code of practice.
In another case a man asked to bring a prostitute to the home insisting it was his right, despite knowing it is an offence to pay for sex.
Staff discussed the issue and the principles of the man’s human and sexual rights. However managers denied his request fearing it could be a criminal offence for care home staff to permit sex workers on their premises, irrespective of who arranged it.
One married man who wished to start a sexual relationship with a fellow female resident ordered nurses not to tell his wife about the fling. Staff had reservations, but they eventually agreed and remained silent about the affair.
RCN spokeswoman Dawne Garrett said: “Just because people live in a care home doesn’t mean they lose the same rights, choices and responsibilities they once enjoyed in their home as long as these don’t impinge on the rights of other residents.”
‘People desire sexual practices’