’Tis the season to be jolly...at least on telly
NOW we’ve resolved that small and pesky matter of Brexit in a General Election (cue laughter track), we can return to much more pressing issues such as Christmas TV.
I hasten to say this does not include watching back-to-back Yuletide movies from the 1970s on Channel 5.Although I’m told if you sit there long enough on your sofa draped in red tinsel, you will feature in one of its alarming docs each year about odd souls who can’t stop celebrating Christmas and have lit up their houses like the Griswolds in National Lampoon’s Christmasvacation.and while we’re on Channel 5, why make How They Built The Titanic (Tuesday)? Short answer: badly. It’s hardly a sparkling aperitif for the Christmas season.
“New” Christmas TV, shall we say, began rather excitedly last week with TV historian Lucy Worsley (she of “I’m stuck in the dressing up box again!”) providing viewers with a ding-dong guide to carols in her Christmas Carol Odyssey (BBC Four, Monday). It got me merrily into the spirit rather than driving me to it.
Worsley helpfully pointed out that there’s really no need to feel embarrassed at Midnight Mass – or similar religious happenings – when you struggle to reach a note because “even people who can’t sing can sing them too”.
She’s the curator of the Historic Royal Palaces so she must be right, otherwise
I’m sure she would be visiting the Tower for something other than a mulled wine convention.
The academic went on to explain that the Christians decided many centuries ago to borrow ceremonies and tunes from pagans.this was because it’s easier than making up new ones. One ritual was called “wassailing” from which we surely derive “was’up?” and “Whatsapp”. We also got a carol which is sung deep in thewest Country at this time every year (turn hard right off the A303) while gallons of cider are wastefully poured on to the roots of apple trees. Leftovers, we assume, are consumed at will. It’s difficult to find fault with this ritual – unlike most others from the period which involved calling out someone looking slightly weird and attaching them to a nearby stake.
We also heard about carols such as Ding Dong Merrily On High which began life as a dance in France but has been much improved by us with words that are very easy to remember. Other carols such as Ralph Vaughan Williams’s O Little Town Of Bethlehem were sung to the great composer by a folk singer called Garmin in a pub in Surrey.that was a well-spent pint. Next week we learn that All I Want For Christmas Is You came from a whistling Cockney chimney sweep.
Dave Gorman, one of the country’s most consistent and funniest comedians, has a new show. It’s called (Dave, Monday). In a shiny new format, he and a very chatty panel talk about challenging things such as an ear-pick spoon, a sex doll, an “enhance pad” (don’t ask) and something which looks like a “pretty exciting jelly mould” (definitely don’t ask).yes, it’s a bit rude. The highlight was the celebrity panel shooting darts at a bunch of
IT WAS very easy to avoid
this year. Dull as ditchwater springs to mind. It got so bad “fans” were reportedly calling for Holly Willoughby to be brought back to replace Ant. Or as well as. It wasn’t clear. Jacqueline Jossa, an actress little known beyond the Queen Vic, was the improbable winner in an Eastenders v Corrie final but she still didn’t look happy. Remember when they had people like Johnny Rotten on the show? Everyone knows how to “play” the series which is killing it. balloons. Of different colours. OK, it was all very silly – which, in this world, is exactly what we need. Mr Googlewhack may have another hit.
In all this early Christmas TV excitement, the real world continued. There’s a new crime drama in the outer reaches of the schedule, the Alibi channel. Traces (Monday) has a quality cast of Martin Compston (Line Of Duty), Molly Windsor, Laura Fraser and John Gordon Sinclair. Remember him? Answers on a postcard and no Googling.
Top marks for originality in the set-up. It focuses on a forensic fire department in Dundee.while the team were investigating a fire in a nightclub they found cardboard in a toaster rather than bread. I know times are tough but that is ridiculous.
FINALLY, the country’s favourite polar bear re-appeared in His Dark Materials (BBC One, Sunday). Called Iorek, he not only helped Lyra escape the naughty people intent on more “experimental theology” – the evil swines – he also starred in his own action sequence in the hot-air balloon.
The baddies were after Lyra on whom, we’re told, “the fate of all the world depends”.we’ve heard that before, even recently. Our heroine managed to free the captive children and blow up a prototype Tardis which could take away your “daemons”. Sounds useful.
Armoured-bear Iorek continues to surprise us all with his depth of characterisation and acrobatic ability but alas he couldn’t stop Lyra falling from the balloon. No need to worry, children; she turned up alive in the subsequent trailer which immediately followed. Spoiler alert!
Or is this a special “pre-watershed cliffhanger”, which only lasts for a few seconds so we don’t have nightmares. If so, we’re obliged to you, BBC.AS ever.