There ought to be a law against The Split
HERE’S a shock: lawyers have a heart. Or some do. OK, only those played by Nicolawalker. The Split (BBC One, Tuesday), returning for a second series, was desperately trying to prove that corporate solicitors, or at least those in family law, have humanity along with extortionate fees.
While having an affair in revenge for her husband having one (what lawyers call an “equitable solution”),walker’s Hannah Stern spared the spouse of a bishop the embarrassment of knowing the final entry on her husband’s bucket list was to divorce his wife. He’d visited Hannah only the day before to sue for divorce.alas, he dropped dead in the interim – probably on seeing her bill.
Otherwise, this drama was again as believable as a unicorn knocking on your front door asking for directions, but not half as entertaining. The script was sprinkled with bizarre lines that no one says.a pop star was reminded by her horrible husband: “Don’t forget, we’ve got dinner with Amazon tonight...”
Really? A ready-meal with Jeff Bezos, or more likely dining with a friendly delivery driver? What nonsense. Or as a slew of Arab clients entered Stern’s offices, someone asked, “How’s that racehorse?” Arabs and racehorses? Unheard of.
The Split is not Suits, or Silk. Nor is it Rumpole. It’s not even half of Kavanagh. And it’s very south of North Square.a court order should be lodged against another series.
Alarm bells rang loudly during Cold Feet (ITV, Monday) last week. Not because Adam (James Nesbitt) was continuing his surprising monogamous ways, but because Pete (John Thomson) was poised to do the opposite. Many would have complained to Ofcom if dear Pete, the everyman of Cold Feet, did something completely out of character and had an affair. But hold the front page!
He was tempted by an apparently sensible lass from jury service. Not quite a bunny boiler (yet) but they’re clearly the dangerous ones. Meanwhile put jury service next to taking up jogging and spending too much time in the gym as a sign that your partner is straying.
Next time your loved one says, “Just popping out to see someone from jury service”, call a private investigator.
Pete’s problem of course was too little sex from “grumpy” Jen. She was being incredibly mean to him after having breast cancer, losing her mum, being cut out of the will and going through the menopause. But hey, she should get her
AND this week’s show about the British coastline is…
Coast which is anything but sunken treasure. Enough coast, BBC! You’ve gone overboard. We’ve also got Cornwall: This Fishing Life on Tuesday. If we need to smell the sea air, we’ll go there. Producers love putting presenters in boats. Why? Have we run out of land to film? More hills and dales and less of Adrian Chiles in a safety vest shouting excitedly from fascinating inflatables.
priorities right.the man of the house does have traditional needs, however “woke” we are. But we shouldn’t have worried. Pete – in the end – did the decent thing, ie nothing. It’s why we love him.
The series concludes tomorrow, where we can hopefully expect some high drama. Don’t hold your breath.the best we can hope for is David to finally realise that the trendy stubble look is not him and reach for a razor.apologies in advance for raising expectations.
The Pale Horse (BBC One, Sunday) was alas a pale imitation of a good Agatha Christie.yes, it was originally written by Christie, but it failed to compel. Many of her later books, lacking either Poirot or Miss Marple, don’t lend themselves to TV. By all means, borrow it from the library, but the estate hardly needs the handout.when a non-detective, like Rufus Sewell’s Mark Easterbook, is the lead investigator we get lost, and cease to care about any of the characters.
What we had here was a list of people who were dying one by one. Easterbrook was connected to several of them so suspicions fell on him. But, ho hum, there’s another episode to go. Surely, these stories are best told in one evening? And how often does an “occult” plot like this let you down at the end? Prepare yourself. Has anyone seen the butler?
It’s hard to believe that Tyson Fury hasn’t got a butler. But I doubt he’d be seen dead with one around the house. Tyson Fury: The Gypsy King (ITV, Thursday) is an entertaining new doc/ reality series about the former world heavyweight boxing champion who most of us recall, alas, from outbursts when he was accused of homophobia, racism and anti-semitism.
This first episode showed the other side.a devoted family man, with five children, who would never move from Morecambe despite having the wealth at one stage to buy half of the coastal town. Now he is battling with his depression too, and has attempted suicide.
Is he a changed man? I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt, a points decision to Tyson because he seems to deal with life with a refreshing honesty. Let’s hear from him then, before the series ends, on his more controversial comments that sent him from hero to zero.that said, it was impressive to see a celebrity put out the rubbish. I’m sure that wasn’t for the cameras either...