Get practical WHAT NOT TO SAY...

Don’t tell someone how to feel. It can be hard to see someone you care about lose interest in their life. But trying to get someone to focus on the positive can exacerbate feelings of guilt at not being able to enjoy the good things they have going for them. Someone suffering from poor mental health might already be struggling with this.

Try to avoid unhelpful phrases:

Cheer up.

You don’t have anything to be sad/worried about.

Look at everything you have – you have so many reasons to be happy. You’re so much better off than others.

It could be worse.

It’s not the end of the world.

Just get on with it.

You’re the only one who can change how you’re feeling.

You need to snap out of it and pull yourself together.

Often, when someone is really suffering emotionally, nothing you say can make them feel better. At these times, just being there is what counts. When they are ready, they will open up.

In the meantime, try helping with practical tasks. This could include helping buy and prepare food, sorting out bills, offering a lift somewhere, looking after their pet or helping with

household chores.

How to Listen: Tools for opening up conversations when it matters most by Katie Columbus and Samaritans (£12.99; Kyle Books). Call Samaritans for help any time on 116 123. Or email jo@samaritans.org to find details of your nearest branch to talk to a trained volunteer face to face. Donate or volunteer at samaritans.org