Dating with dementia

As symptoms worsen, heartbroken partner says she feels cheated...

A COUPLE has told of the strain that having dementia at a young age puts on their relationship.

BBC documentary Dementia

And Us follows sufferers and their families over two years.

Chris, from Manchester, was just 34 when he discovered he had the gene that saw his father suffer from dementia and die at 45.

Chris is now 43 and liv

ing with symptoms of the disease. He met Tracy in his local pub and they started dating. Last summer Tracy said: “I try not to be like his carer, I’m his girlfriend. If I act like his carer it’s undermining him and that’s not what he wants.”

At the time Chris said: “At the moment it’s normal because I’m quite normal – apart from a bit of forgetfulness.

“My dementia doesn’t define me. She’s a great girl and I’m really happy.”

But in February this year his brother Tony died of dementia. Tracy tells the programme: “Since Tony’s funeral Chris has been crying quite a lot. One day we were driving and he just started crying. I said what’s wrong, and he said ‘Well, I’m next in line’.

“I’ve noticed his speech is getting worse. It’s only been a year but it feels like forever, because I’ve got so attached to him.”

Later she tells Chris: “I’m scared what I’ll do when something happens to you. I don’t want to go through watching you like that.

“I want you to be here forever. It’s not fair, I feel really cheated. As I see your shortterm memory getting worse I think to myself that happy ever after won’t be.”

Tracy and Chris have since broken up.

The second part of Dementia And Us is on Tuesday, 9pm, BBC Two