You can’t bully us out of our homes
PERHAPS there’s something wrong with me. I fear I’m the the only person in the world who doesn’t come over all unnecessary at the thought of tiramisu. I’m sorry that Ado Campeol, the Italian restaurateur who invented it, has died at the age of 93. But while I have nothing against a marriage of mascarpone, eggs, sugar and cocoa powder, it’s the coffee element I don’t like.the only coffee-flavoured thing I like is... well... a cup of coffee. But each to their own and all respects to the sickly pudding community, now in deep mourning.
I HOPED we’d be seeing more of Ciaran Jenkins of Channel 4 News for the programme’s COP26 coverage from Glasgow. He’s awfully good isn’t he, ladies?
When he first showed up on Channel 4 he looked like awelsh punk poet who’d accidentally found himself reporting on Scottish matters and wasn’t enjoying it much. The sort of strangely attractive ashen-faced boy I used to be drawn to at parties, skulking in the kitchen with a roll-up, talking about jazz and existentialism. He always gave First Minister Nicola Sturgeon a hard time but she twinkles flirtatiously even when he’s really quite firm with her.
I hope
Channel 4 is grooming him for greater things – perhaps a replacement for Jon Snow when he bows out at the end of the year. Because I’ve noticed that Ciaran has had some sort of makeover, often wears sharp suits and narrow ties and does his hair differently.
Though when he went to interview young protesters in Glasgow he was back in his black clothes (I guess he had to look down-with-the-kidz). If my daughter brought him home I’d have to redecorate the house and bake a cake. He’s really rather hot, even allowing for global warming.
Oh, and he plays the cello extremely well. So, successful, good-looking and sensitive.what more can one ask for in a man?
DAME Helen Mirren says she resorts to “stripper heels” when she has “negative thoughts” and fears that she is “boring and stupid” and is intimidated when she finds herself in a room “full of incredibly beautiful women who are at least a foot taller than you”. Oh dear. If that’s how the Queen of Thesps feels, then what hope is there for the rest of us?
IF THERE’S one thing guaranteed to annoy older voters it’s being told they should live in smaller homes. Thanks for that, Housing Minister Chris Pincher. He told the House of Lords last week that almost four in 10 properties are “under occupied” and would be better used by families with young children.
That’ll be the property that you spent decades paying for, the house where your children grew up, the house on which you have lavished money and care, the house you have painted and wallpapered.
You have fixed the guttering, upgraded the kitchen and returned the fireplaces to their former glory. You had the loft converted. Years ago you had fitted carpet laid in the bathroom and then you had it removed when it became old fashioned. You’ve worked your way through three, maybe four dishwashers.
Then there’s the stuff which you would get rid of if you had a moment, the memorabilia, the children’s old school reports and old toys, the paintings, the shoeboxes full of photographs, the knickknacks. One day you will get rid of it but not right now.
And that’s even before you get into the garden that you have also tended lovingly, watching trees reach maturity from the peace of your garden chair which you bought 35 years ago in B&Q and which now looks a little faded.
The Government wants to encourage builders to create more developments suitable for pensioners. I’m sure many people would welcome this sensible measure but somehow my heart sinks at the idea of properties that are “suitable” for pensioners. Ghettos for the elderly. Back in your box, baby boomers. Many welcome the idea of downsizing and slimming down their lives. But it’s not for everyone.
And it’s not as if you are, as Chris Pincher told the House of Lords, “rattling around” in this big house. In fact you’d love to do some rattling and enjoy the luxury of space. But the children didn’t move out until they were in their 30s and those that did now have children of their own and are often
STHE Green Knight, currently on Amazon and doing the rounds in cinemas, is a brave film.
Most attempts to reproduce a mythical Arthurian Britain will invite comparisons with Monty Python And The Holy Grail as well as the hilarious spoof Camelot musical Spamalot. Even if you haven’t seen either of them, you sort of know the gags.
But this film, retelling the legend of Arthur’s nephew Sir Gawain, is magnificently and unapologetically serious, starring Dev Patel (from Slumdog Millionaire) as the knight errant. It’s about goodness and keeping your word – very moral in these times. It is also very beautiful.
And the fox, who acts as Gawain’s guide on his perilous quest, gives a wonderful performance. coming home to visit with all the bedmaking and catering that involves. And honestly, there’s nothing nicer than sitting round a big table in your big house with all your big children and their families.
O NO, you don’t want to move and you don’t want to be made to feel that holding on to this house, one of your life’s greatest achievements, is somehow wrong or selfish or contributing to global warming because you will insist on putting the heating on.
And let’s face it, you know that further down the line, you’ll probably have to sell it to pay for your care. That’s why you’ll hang on to it for now, Minister. So kindly butt out.