Victim blaming allows domestic abuse to thrive
DOMESTIC abuse is the single biggest societal issue facing women and children in the UK today. As the Chief Executive of Refuge, the country’s largest single provider of specialist domestic abuse services, I work with women every day who experience horrific abuse, women who are among the most resilient.
Domestic abuse and violence against women and girls (VAWG) has never been higher on the public and political agenda, and yet it is a widely misunderstood social issue surrounded by many myths which undermine the scale of the problem and the very real impact on those who experience it.
Many of these untruths are fuelled by the fundamental misogyny which is rampant across society, and it is this very misogyny which is the root cause of so much domestic abuse.
Often, we are told domestic abuse or VAWG is a “women’s issue”, but women do not want or choose to be abused.
It is this insidious victim blaming culture that allows domestic abuse to continue unchecked.
While men are also victims of domestic abuse – and every victim and survivor matters – domestic abuse is a gendered issue. The vast majority of perpetrators of abuse are male, and victims female.
In order to properly address domestic abuse we need to ensure perpetrators are held to account, and ensure that there is a societal understanding that domestic abuse is a crime.
Sadly, the response to domestic abuse is often inadequate.
As we have seen recently, some serving police officers, who are supposed to protect women and girls, and whose job it is to hold perpetrators to account are themselves the ones carrying out these atrocious acts or are using domestic abuse as a subject for banter.
“You ever slapped your missus? It makes them love you more...”
“Knock a bird about and she will love you. Human nature.”
That these hateful messages promoting violence against women are coming from the institution that is meant to protect us from these crimes is sickening. Domestic abuse is not a joke.
One in four women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. We know that only around a fifth of women experiencing domestic abuse report to the police – and one of the reasons behind this is the fear they won’t be taken seriously or believed.
With messages such as the above, it is not a surprise that women do not have confidence in the police to protect them. How are women supposed to have any confidence to report this crime if this culture of violent misogyny is so ingrained within the police themselves?
A major cultural change is needed to eradicate domestic abuse and to break down the systems that prop it up.
Two women are killed every week in England and Wales by their current or former partners, and it is estimated that three women a week who are experiencing domestic abuse die by suicide.
We must remember each and every woman whose lives are taken in this way.
Domestic abuse is a crime. It is against the law. We are all affected by domestic abuse – we all have a responsibility to speak out against it. Only then will it end.
If you are affected by domestic abuse, you are not alone.you can access free and confidential support from Refuge’s 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 and digital support via live chat Mondayfriday 3-10pm via nationalda helpline.org.uk.we will listen to you and we will believe you.
“Two women are killed every week in Britain