Canoe death rehash is just a fake drama
ANOTHER DAY, another pointless crime drama. ITV did seem very proud of the title of their new drama this week – The Thief, His Wife And The Canoe (ITV, Sunday–wednesday), but otherwise I can see little reason for remaking this daft, and quite depressing story. Of course, two of our best actors, Monica Dolan (as Anne Darwin) and Eddie Marsan (John Darwin) agreed to play the lead roles and they are indeed the highlight of the piece.
But where was the new angle from this notorious crime tale? It had been done previously on BBC Four in 2010 with
Bernard Hill and Saskia Reeves – repeated last week – and there was also an ITV documentary on Thursday on the “dead” canoeist’s plan to start a new life in Panama.
Simply casting a show well, or hiring a top writer in Chris Lang (Unforgiven) doesn’t really provide you with anything new except to give this couple – whatever Anne Darwin’s unease and misgivings along the way – more notoriety.
I doubt their two sons who had to grieve for the loss of their wicked father would have welcomed another reheating of this tired story.
This version was very much Anne’s story, as Dolan tells her side with her own narration. It merely serves to emphasise that she had plenty of opportunity to walk away from this scam, whatever the level of coercion. Do viewers want to be drawn to feel sympathy for either party?
The script had idiotic moments.
Did Anne really receive a phone call from John in the middle of the visit from the police to announce the search was off ? I think not. Or did he really drudge around town with that enormous backpack and not draw suspicion?
Why tell such stories – apart from ratings? Sky’s Landscapers, another unnecessary true crime drama starring Olivia Colman, was a further example.
There, we paraded two killers on television for entertainment.
The Darwins got off lightly with six years only in prison, a very small price to pay.
Has there been a successful World Cup campaign, or is there something in the water in Yorkshire? I give you Yorkshire Midwives On Call (BBC Two, Monday) in which baby Yorkshiremen and women were popping out everywhere. Some may think this is excessive breeding.
Personally, I think it’s the attraction of a homebirth in an inflatable pool which can then double as a paddling pool. Toddlers only, mind – don’t get any ideas.
There’s a bonus, too. The midwives will also help you clean up. Or cook your tea. What a service NHS! No one will go to hospital again as homebirths are all the rage. Even two young junior doctors had the time to mess around with it rather than attend their own hospital.
What does that say?
Ordinary mortals were involved in it too, however, with the crack team of midwives on hand throughout the pregnancy. No issues were left undiscussed, including who would “cut the cord”. “Cutting the cord? I’m good at that,” said experienced father Andrew, who just happens to be a “handyman”.
And three families now have a quality
HD home video of their new arrivals. Yorkshire Midwives was born to be a hit.
Life After Life (BBC Two, Tuesday) was a compelling adaptation of a Kate Atkinson novel, one of our most inventive writers. This time, she’s allowing her central character Ursula to relive key moments in time when a tragedy occurred – such as childbirth, drowning, flu, even falling from a window to rescue a favourite toy. It’s time-travelling without the famous Doctor.
However, Ursula was unable to do anything about her annoying brother. In one act of kindness, he covers her with autumn leaves in her pram. Closer to nature, of course.
Sian Clifford (Fleabag) lives in a sprawling Edwardian house as the well-to-do mother of Ursula in this beautifully shot drama, which is full of drama, and yes, impending doom.
Most tragic was the scene involving several deaths from Spanish Flu, caught while celebrating the end of the First World War in London.
It was completely heartbreaking with poignant echoes of recent times.
Inside No.9 (BBC Two, Wednesday) managed to be both darkly amusing and downright sad. The set-up for the first episode of season seven saw Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith reunited with Mark Gatiss, their old pal from The League Of Gentlemen, plus the welcome addition of Diane Morgan (Motherland).
Oh, how we laughed. But as with all Inside eps, don’t look away from the telly or something horrible is bound to kick off.
I always thought pedalos – or “paedos” as Pemberton’s dyslexic character jokes – were a very dangerous leisure craft. Now we have the prof. Sorry, proof.