Jury’s out on the best dressed Wag
THE Wagatha trial kicked off last week in the High Court as footballer’s wife Rebekah Vardy launched her libel trial against footballer’s wife Coleen Rooney. In 2019 Mrs Rooney set up an elaborate sting to find out who was leaking stories about her to the newspapers and concluded the leak came from Mrs Vardy’s account. It was Coleen’s sleuthing skills which led to the Wagatha nickname (as in Agatha Christie). Now Rebekah has launched her legal fightback.
There’s much to enjoy in the sight of two Wags handbagging each other via expensive lawyers. Not least the wardrobe choices. For haven’t we all – in idle moments – considered what we’d wear for our day in court?
A firm called Garrick Law has a whole section on Do’s and Don’ts of Court Dressing on its website, pointing out that image consultants say that you judge a person within seven seconds of meeting them. That long? I’ve usually made my mind up about someone inside three seconds max.
As you’d expect, Garrick suggests dressing conservatively with your shirt tucked in and tattoos hidden. And no shorts or flip flops.they also advise against an expensive watch. Is this because there are thieves about (quite likely in a courtroom I suppose) or that the sight of your hundredgrand Rolex Daytona would make the jury hate you?
MEANWHILE Wags whose usual workwear is revealing red carpet apparel or designer bikinis have the chance to channel their inner Puritan when facing a day in court.
It’s a retail opportunity which Vardy has embraced wholeheartedly with her navy, buttoned-up midi-dress straining over her bosom and her hair scraped back. It was the look of a ruthlessly efficient sex-bomb secretary who is considering taking the veil.
On day two she selected a Gentleman Jack suit with a billowing skirt, and Cruella De Vil shoulders. All accessorised with sunglasses and ankle-snapping stilettos. I fancy it’s the sort of outfit you’d wear to your husband’s funeral after you’d put potassium cyanide in his Prosecco.
Sartorially speaking poor old Coleen was rather left in the shade, particularly as she is currently rocking a surgical boot which she teamed with trousers and (unwisely) a summery mini-dress on a cool day. Maybe she’s going for the sympathy vote. I hope someone lent her a cardigan.
Meanwhile, over in Virginia, the defamation case brought against Amber Heard by her former husband Johnny Depp is about to recommence after a short break. Heard has been accused of mimicking her ex’s outfits with her fetching range of mannish jackets, occasionally veering towards butter-wouldn’t-melt
Austrian dairy maid chic with a plait wound round her head.
Dolly Parton famously said “It
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PLEASE no more curry. Every time I hear about those Labour Party workers filling their plates with food I begin to feel a little queasy. Nothing is more depressing than the detritus of a curry takeaway: the halfempty cartons, the turmeric-stained costs a lot of money to look this cheap”. For your day in court you want to look virtuous but hot, warrior-woman but winsome. All at the same time. That costs even more.
paper napkins, the horrid little bags of salad that nobody ever eats, the cold, congealed rice, the lingering aroma of an old jalfrezi. Enough! I am beyond caring if they were flouting the rules but I don’t want to hear any more about their working suppers. Bleaagh.