The big freeze seals Sir David’s legacy...
I’M RELUCTANT to use Sir David Attenborough’s name in the same sentence as Queen Elizabeth II, but both have had a lasting impact on this country. Attenborough is 96, too, and continues to make extraordinary programmes, which now have more bite than a killer whale with an eye on an evening meal. And that was exactly what we got in Frozen Planet II (BBC One, Sunday), when one of the ocean’s least gracious predators had a starring role in one of the opening sequences.
The odd thing about this mammoth mammal is its almost lugubrious manner, especially as it tried unsuccessfully to unseat its prey from an ice floe in the Antarctic. Meanwhile, the doe-eyed seal prey didn’t seem to care either way. Maybe that’s the game face.
Failing initially, it returned in a small pack of killer whales to finish off the job.
I won’t spoil it but large females need to eat a seal a day! I expect they’re nature’s equivalent of the Canadian Mounties – they always get their man.
To the brooding soundtrack of composer extraordinaire Hans Zimmer, we then began a whistle-stop tour of snow-capped mountains and tundra, as Attenborough gave us the real crowdpleasers of the natural world – including emperor penguins. He gave us a tough lesson in parenting along the way: “At one metre tall, the parents walk out, never to return to the chicks.”
No news on whether the Bank of Mum and Dad had closed too.
It’s not all bad news though. They could all get a start on Splash, if it ever returns; they’re past masters at the belly flop.
The big beasts just kept coming. Next was the Siberian tiger, with only 500 left in the wild. Striking underground filming caught one pursuing a bear into a cave. It was the tiger, however, that was left with a sore head when he got stuck and made a swift retreat.
There were wry moments, too, including the mating ritual of a hooded seal. Attenborough illuminated: “He inflates his expandable sac in his left nostril…” Not surprisingly, his romantic target slipped quietly away.
Attenborough didn’t labour climate change... the elephant in the room.
We must stop the warming, he said: “It’s up to us to make that happen.”
If only everyone would act together, Attenborough would get his wish.
The Great British Bake Off (Channel 4, Tuesday) also returned but with substantially less of Matt Lucas than before. The weight has fallen off the comedian and presenter in between visits to the famous marquee, but now begins the real test, one expects.
You don’t see Weight Watchers having its annual convention hosted by Paul Hollywood. That said, there were temptations aplenty when the new series began – for audience and presenters – with at least two of the
rounds including humongous bakes that would be difficult for most mortals to ignore.
The “technical” was a seven-layer red velvet cake. When they were lined up in front of Paul Hollywood, you had a little sympathy for the poor chap, sampling 12 versions of the same cake. Too much of a good thing?
He did it with good grace as ever, as did fellow judge Prue Leith.
Then, in the showstopper round, bakers had to recreate the family home in cake! It was clearly a crossover week with Channel 4 stablemate, Grand
Designs. It’s the first time I’ve seen a tower block in sponge cake. Some, alas, were not worthy of human habitation. The winner, Polish contestant Janusz, made a chocolate cake with soy sauce.
All Creatures Great And Small (Channel 5, Thursday) must rank as the most decent show on television – behind Countryfile and Songs Of Praise of course.
There’s no bad language, maybe a “gosh, Mr Farnon!” from the frustrated housekeeper, and vets don’t even curse if they step in something challenging in one of those pretty, dry-stone walled fields in the Yorkshire Dales.
Maybe its wholesome image accounts for much of the appeal of the show – which can seem rather too gentle. There’s never even a villain as such. Mr Farnon? He’s just a bit of a grump. And sex? Well, that’s never spoken about of course. No one talked about sex until the Sixties. Last week’s wedding episode was no different. Helen and James tied the knot even though Herriot had dealt with a cow’s broken leg beforehand.
Once home from honeymoon they scampered to their attic bedroom only to find the bed collapsed under their weight as they “relaxed” on it.
Then the phone rang, interrupting any further flirtations. Quite right.
Time to deal with Tricky Woo’s latest whim!