‘When I was referred for a mastectomy I was seen by a hormone specialist... there was no psychological assessment or intervention at all’
LUKE, 26, was born female and realised at a young age he was attracted to other women. He joined an LGBTQ support group where he met young teens on puberty blockers.
He wanted to take the drugs after researching them on the internet but his mother persuaded him to wait until he was a bit older.
When he was 18 he went on a waiting list for a double mastectomy which was carried out when he was 19.
He started taking male hormones – testosterone – 10 days later.
He was not offered any counselling, even before his operation.
Luke said: “When I was referred for a mastectomy I was seen by a hormone specialist.
“I was asked if I drank or took drugs, and my blood pressure and other observations were checked. There was no psychological assessment or psychological intervention at all.”
Although he is from Ireland,
Luke says some of his treatment was carried out by a specialist from London.
Knowing he could transition, he said, had made him very distressed. “I was born in the mid-90s but if I had been born in the 1970s I would have grown up as a lesbian.
“When I found out I could transition, my gender dysphoria went out of control and my anxiety increased. It feels as if someone has given you the elixir of life – gender youth dysphoria is like a drug.
“You get a big hit when you get a breast binder, then that winds down.
“You have your first appointment and that brings you up again.
“You get hysterical. I really was going on the road and it felt like there was nothing else I could do. It is deep psychological distress and that is what is missing in this debate.
“People who are gender dysphoric need sympathy. I got into an insane state.
“After the operation I became even more distressed and wanted to have sex reassignment surgery. I was referred for two 70-minute counselling sessions. I would like to have done more but that was all I was given.”
When he was 21 Luke, a special needs support worker from Dublin, organised a hysterectomy but decided not to go ahead. “It was three years since the mastectomy, I had come off the dopamine hit of that surgery and wanted the next hit,” he added.
“I realised this hit would also wear off and I would just have to get more and more surgery until I had nothing else to do, nothing else to live for.
“I realised I wanted to integrate into society and have a same-sex female partner. I am lucky I can still have a child although I can no longer breastfeed.
“I don’t regret the surgery. That won’t get me anywhere. But I would have loved it if I had never known about sex-change surgery. As soon as I did I just wanted it.
“I could have come out of it. I would have been fine if I hadn’t transitioned.”