WHAT FLOATS YOUR VOTE?

Former Labour leader JEREMY CORBYN was cheered by crowds at the Glastonbury Festival in 2017 but it remains to be seen whether successor Sir Keir Starmer will receive a similar rapturous welcome this year.

The muddy music extravaganza is held from June 26-30, in the week before polling. Headliners include Coldplay and Shania Twain – but Sir Keir is yet to receive an invitation.

Candidate ROH YAKOBI has a remarkable backstory. Growing up in Afghanistan, his father fought the Soviets and then the Taliban. His younger brother died of starvation under Taliban rule.

Mr Yakobi was himself imprisoned by Afghanistan’s fanatical rulers at a young age. He said: “From Taliban captivity and torture as a 12-year-old child to arriving here as a refugee and reaching where I am today, I owe everything I have to this wonderful country. I am determined to pay back what I owe.”

He’s now standing for Parliament for Labour.

Lib Dem leader SIR ED DAVEY has already provided plenty of photo opportunities in this election campaign, being pictured falling off a paddleboard and plunging down a waterslide. One wag suggested he should try being fired out of a cannon – to which Lib Dem President Mark Pack replied: “Please, don’t give him ideas...”

BEN WALLACE served as an MP for 19 years and made it into the Cabinet as Defence Secretary. But the omens weren’t good.

Mr Wallace, who is not seeking re-election, admitted: “Politics was the only A-level I actually enjoyed; I was inspired by a teacher. I got a D in it, I am afraid to say.”

Top Tory JACOB REES-MOGG – known for his sartorial elegance – gave one voter a scare as he hit the campaign trail. She told him: “I saw you walk by the window and thought it must be a funeral. You in your suit and tie!”

Sir Jacob has a plan to stop it happening again. “I must wear a bigger rosette,” he said.

Veteran ex-labour MP JOHN SPELLAR has stood down from Parliament at the age of 76. A stalwart of the Labour Right, he helped lead the fight against far-left group Militant’s efforts to take over the party in the 1980s, and battled against the Corbynites more recently.

So who will see off the far-left next time? Mr Spellar told friends: “Don’t worry, I’ll still be around.”