How to make life smiles better
If you’re feeling down about the spiralling cost-of-living crisis, training your brain to think happy could give you a sunny outlook
The world has been stuck in crisis mode for some time and more than three-quarters of adults in Britain are worrying about rising living costs*. Clearly there’s not much to smile about. Or is there? Life coach Holly Matthews, author of The Happy Me Project: The No-nonsense Guide To Selfdevelopment, says that if we train our brains to think differently, we can actually feel happier.
“Life is harder today than it has been for many years,” says Holly. “But I really believe it’s possible to make friends with fear and change your story.”
Here are her steps to achieving happiness during these tough financial times…
‘Recognise what’s really important to your happiness and any pressures will lift’
Practise Permitted daydreaming
Think you have to work hard to make money? “It’s not true!” says Holly. “Some people graft hard every day but aren’t rich. We have to teach ourselves to work smarter, not harder. Get on top of your mindset and make good decisions.”
Holly advises “permitted daydreaming”. “It’s important to allow space for nothing – that’s when the magic happens. When we do nothing, we activate something called the default mode network (DMN) regions in our brains. This is a space where our brain can reflect, consider and help make sense of the world.
“Resist the temptation to look at social media when you next sit down. Instead, practise daydreaming. It might feel uncomfortable at first but, in time, it will help.”
Find comfort in your discomfort
Many clients come to Holly for advice after having kids, a career slump or a divorce – all of which have a financial impact. “These are moments when we reassess our lives, so I encourage people not to limit themselves. only three out of 10 people are happy with their lives and 69% feel tired of the same old routine. “a favourite saying of mine is, ‘If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.’ When it comes to money worries, they’re shaped by what we’ve been told since our childhood. change this by looking at life from a new perspective. “Make tweaks – change your route to work, sit at a different desk, mix up your lunch break routine. Get comfortable with the discomfort of change.”
Make friends with fear
“Our brains can be predisposed towards negativity, making us get stuck in a negative rut,” says Holly. “Check in with yourself and see what you can control. When it comes to money, forget about the shame of not being able to afford things or financial mistakes you’ve made. Replace negative fears, such as, ‘I’m never going to have enough money’ with new affirmations such as, ‘Money comes easily to me.’ “Talking about money helps dampen the flames of fear, too, so open your mind, learn more, manage things differently. Then you can pivot out of a difficult situation more easily.”
drown out the noise
“We consume a huge amount of information every day, which can be paralysing,” warns Holly. “Limit what you let in, then you can make better and quicker decisions, including financial ones.
“Go back to basics – what’s important to you? What are your values? What matters? Focus on your driver in life. Mine is freedom. I limit the information telling me what I need or should be doing as it confines me. Recognise what’s really important to your happiness and any pressures will lift.”
Master the art of Micro habits
“To have a life that feels fun and spontaneous, I’ve created micro habits,” Holly explains.
“The minute somebody says, ‘You need to overhaul your life’, it feels overwhelming, but small habits I can cope with.”
Self-care hacks she uses include weaving in short bursts of exercise while doing mundane tasks like boiling the kettle, or practising two minutes of gratitude while brushing her teeth.
“It makes a difference to my outlook. If you’re suffering from money worries, focus on what you do have and be grateful.”
be ruthless about your inner circle
“Make conscious choices about who you’re spending time with,” says Holly.
“Being surrounded by lots of people all the time, in real life and on social media, doesn’t make you more valuable – especially if they’re not a positive influence or supportive. It can actually make you feel more alone.”
“Close and honest friendships are proven to be more validating to us, particularly if you’re going through a hard time. You need people around you who ‘see’ you and can support you.”