Should I give up the love of my life once he’s married?

I have a complicated relationship with the love of my life. I’ve been sleeping with him, on and off, for 20 years. Sometimes I don’t hear from him for months.

Once we were out of contact for two years when he was working in America, and it almost killed me. My friends accuse me of being a walkover. They point out that he only rocks up when he’s bored and wants something. I admit that he comes to me for money and sex, but what does that matter when I’d happily give him the world?

In the early days we were a proper couple. But then he went to university and dumped me for an older woman. I was utterly devastated and refused to leave my bedroom for two months. My parents were terrified that I’d do something stupid and begged him to speak to me, but he refused.

We hooked up again when he returned from travelling and we’ve been friends with benefits ever since.

Now he’s getting married but says we can remain close. I know people laugh at me and call me a fool, but what can I do when he’s everything and I worship him?

Surely, I’m allowed to hope that he’ll eventually see my worth and make me his forever lover?

It breaks my heart to think of the time and opportunities you’ve wasted hanging around for this man. I understand that you have a blind spot as far as he’s concerned but what about your dreams and aspirations?

He’s about to get married. Maybe he’ll also have children or pets. Don’t you deserve love and stability?

You may love him, but he doesn’t sound like a very lovable person. He comes across as a self-entitled, unscrupulous user. Has he ever stopped to consider your feelings? I wonder if he’s ever paid back the cash he owes or asked how you’re doing.

Why don’t you stop and listen to the people who genuinely care about you? If friends are frustrated by your behaviour, then why do you continue to make the same mistakes?

Surely his marriage has to signify a fork in the road. Is his new wife going to tolerate you hanging around?

By publicly committing himself to her, he’s effectively telling the world that he’s off the market and settling down. You cannot continue to be his substitute or his dirty little secret because you deserve better. You have to force yourself to build a new future and leave him behind because he’s done nothing but humiliate and hinder.

How long do you think your friends are going to carry on supporting you if they’re already bored of this saga?

Contact Jane at S Magazine, One Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5AP or email jane.ogorman@express.co.uk. Jane regrets that she cannot reply personally to your letters