‘They had love and a mission – monarchy’
In her latest book, Dr Tessa Dunlop lifts the lid on how the remarkable marriage of Queen Elizabeth II and her husband Philip was built on their devotion to duty and each other
They are no longer with us, but as we approach what would have been Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip’s 75th wedding anniversary, it seems fitting to reflect on their hugely successful marriage and explore what made it so strong.
No one is more of an expert on this topic than Dr Tessa Dunlop, a historian and author who has just published Elizabeth & Philip: A Story Of Young Love, Marriage And Monarchy. And she’s in no doubt about the key ingredient to their longevity.
“Tolerance!” says Tessa. Queen Elizabeth II herself mentioned it during her silver wedding speech in 1972, and Philip on their golden wedding anniversary, saying that his wife had “tolerance in abundance”. But what qualities did the pair, who met when Elizabeth was a 13-year-old princess and Philip was an 18-year-old cadet, have to be so tolerant of?
Tessa explains that as is played out in the new series of The Crown, it’s widely thought that Philip enjoyed his independence, and this is something Elizabeth was very understanding of.
“The second episode (of
The Crown) is about Philip and his relationship with Penny Knatchbull, which I don’t drill too much into in the book. But obviously Philip had patterns of behaviour which persisted through his life,” says Tessa.
And the historian thinks that as a working woman, Queen Elizabeth II had a very modern approach and that “the model of their marriage was quite an independent one”.
Tessa says, “The thing about their marriage is, it wasn’t the 1950s companionate marriage that a lot of people went in for where it was all about exclusivity and the housewife waiting for a husband to come home. I think we can agree that he enjoyed certain freedoms. The Queen was very good at having her own interests. She was very good at giving him space, partly because her role demanded it. She was unusual as she was a working woman in the 1950s.”
Tessa feels that discretion was also key to the couple, saying, “One of the success stories of their marriage was that it was private.”
But the royal expert believes that it was absolutely a marriage based on love. “Oh, she was madly in love with him,” Tessa says. “And I think Philip loved Elizabeth. I’ve never been in any doubt about that. You know, she changed his life. She gave him stability that he never had, she gave him wealth he never had. She gave him a platform he couldn’t have dreamed of. She gave him everything he didn’t have.”
Aside from the strong grounding and security she provided, Tessa thinks Philip was attracted to many other aspects of her personality too. She explains, “Elizabeth was eminently lovable. She was kind and approachable.”
But while our abiding memory of the monarch, who passed away in September aged 96, 15 months after her husband at the age of 99, is that she was hugely popular with her public, Tessa says it wasn’t always the case. In fact, in the early years of their marriage, it was actually Philip who was the star attraction.
She tells us, “What’s so interesting is all that stuff we spoke of when the Queen died, like ‘oh, she had such a lovely smile’. You know, she
was (initially) seen as glum, as awkward, as quite stilted. And old before her years. Philip was more confident, he’d lived a bit. He’d had a far rockier, less sheltered upbringing. He was a devastatingly good-looking fellow, there’s no denying it.”
But rather than resent the attention and admiration he got, the author feels Queen Elizabeth II thrived on it as she knew it made him happy.
Tessa does admit however, that Philip struggled to adjust when his wife became the head of state, saying, “They were clearly very devoted to each other. But that doesn’t mean there weren’t difficulties. I think Philip took a while to adjust to his wife being queen. Without a doubt. She got that it was difficult for him.
It was a tough old gig. She was empathetic.”
And Tessa also thinks that a shared love and respect for the monarchy was another huge factor that made Elizabeth and Philip’s relationship so strong. She said, “They had a practical marriage, and they loved each other and they also had a mission – monarchy. All good marriages need a common purpose.”
She continued, “There is no doubt in my mind that whatever the bumps in the road of their relationship, he bought into the bigger gig, which was their marriage being part of the work machinery of the monarchy. He absolutely believed in it to his dying day and so did she.”
Elizabeth & Philip: A Story Of Young Love, Marriage And Monarchy by Dr Tessa Dunlop (Headline, £20) is available now