When’s a haggis bon bon not a haggis bob bon? When it’s prawn tempura

If you happen to wash up at The Anchor in Kippford, your hopes of a decent bar meal face being sunk.

The village on the Solway coast – dubbed the Scottish riviera – must be one of the most beautiful parts of the country.

Sadly, the food at The Anchor total ly fai led to match its stunning surroundings. And it had all started so promisingly.

A roaring fire welcomed us into a charming- looking bar with a quirky collection of Toby jugs hanging over the service area. It felt like a proper pub.

But The Anchor’s hopes of a good review sprung a leak from there on in. The first warning sign should have been that it requires an element of selfservice, where you need to go up with a table number to place your order. It was 40 minutes before any food appeared.

I ’ m not sure if it was t h e nervous young waiter’s first day on the job but he had to be gently warned about the dangers of passing a hot bowl of soup over a five-yearold’s head.

The chicken and veg soup was bland and lacked seasoning.

I’d ordered haggis bon bons. I love haggis and the first one hit the spot…if slightly overbattered. But it was a shock to discover haggis bon bons two and three were prawn tempura. It was another 10 minutes before my replacement arrived.

The next mayday moment came when the waiter came bursting out of the kitchen to announce the lamb cutlets we had ordered almost an hour previously were off the menu. This only served to blow our hopes of a quick lunch even more dramatically off course.

When the main courses eventually arrived, they weren’t worth the wait. There wasn’t a lack of chips. But I think the chef must have a massive freezer as they tasted far from home-made.

My pal ’s late lamb cutlets substitute of Balmoral chicken came stacked – rather than stuffed with haggis and wrapped in bacon, as traditionally served.

It came with an indeterminate sauce that tasted more like a stroganoff than creamy whisky.

The scampi was a rare hit and my venison burger was okay, though overloaded with salty bacon.

The bill came to £ 68.10 – and there was no offer of any sort of refund for the shoddy service.

They even had the audacity to charge us for the lamb cutlets.

This shipwreck of a place should change its name to The Rancour, as that was our over-riding emotion on leaving.