My wife was my whole world, it was devastating to lose her. So I’ve taken her ashes to all the countries we wanted to see.. and wherever I go I also leave a little bit of my heart Husband on his grief and new mission
Like any other starry- eyed young couple, Nifraz Raheem and Deborah Giannoni dreamed of travelling the world together.
Before they got married, they listed the places where they wanted to walk hand in hand, such as Bali, Fiji and Mexico.
But by the time Nifraz and Deborah exchanged their vows and adopted each other’s names in August last year, they knew that their dream would almost certainly not be realised.
Deborah had been told that her cervical cancer diagnosis was terminal and she passed away at the age of 32 three months later.
Now Nifraz has just returned from the first leg of his poignant solo trip scattering Deborah’s ashes at her chosen spots around the globe – an emotional journey honouring his late wife’s love of travel.
The 31-year- old yoga teacher has visited 10 countries on five continents.
Nifraz, who lives in Glasgow’s southside, said: “Losing Deborah has been devastating and there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t miss her or think of her. She was the one, my world, my everything.
“After she was diagnosed with cancer, we started planning all the places we would visit when her treatment finished and she was feeling better.
“When we realised Deborah wasn’t going to make it, I vowed to take her ashes with me to all the countries we had wanted to see together.
“So far, I’ve left a little bit of her in Scotland, Mexico, Japan, France, Australia, New Zealand, Bali, Sri Lanka, Fiji, Singapore and Vermont in the US.”
Sri Lankan- born Ni fraz, who works for the Spirit Aid charity, added: “Taking Deborah with me on our journey has brought me a lot of comfort. It has helped a lot with the healing process.
“Sharing our story with all the lovely people I have met a long the way has ensured Deborah will never be forgotten and has also encouraged many to open up about their own pain.
“My lovely girl was a fantastic social worker and counsellor and it’s incredible to think she is still helping people even though she is gone. Whether it’s on the snow- covered French Alps or on the sun-drenched beaches of Bali, Mexico or Fiji, Deborah has always been with me. Wherever I leave her ashes, I also leave a little bit of my heart.” In November, to mark the f irst anniversary of her passing, Nifraz will embark on the Salkantay-Inca Trek in Peru to raise money for Spirit Aid and The Prince and Prince of Wales Hospice in Glasgow.
He said: “Peru was one of the favourite locations on our must-see list so I thought it was apt to head there on her anniversary, not only to scatter her ashes but to fundraise for causes close to her heart.
“The money I raise will be split between Spirit Aid, who are dedicated to working with vulnerable children at home and abroad, and the hospice who looked after my wife in her final days. Lots of her
Seeing her walk down the aisle was just magical, the best day of my life
friends and colleagues are organising events or taking part in challenges in her memory.”
Deborah, who lost both her parents when she was in her 20s, was diagnosed with cervical cancer in September 2016.
Nifraz, who was crowned the Sunday Mail’s first overall Young Scot in 2006, said: “We got together in March 2016. From the first date I knew she was the one and, by the second, we were talking marriage and kids. Six months later, Deborah found out she had cancer and needed radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
“We knew we wanted a family so went through a course of IVF and froze four embryos. We were determined not to give up on life or having a family.
“We laughed and bantered our way through her treatment and, even when Deborah lost her hair, we found ways of smiling about her new look.
“We carried on making plans and hohoped the chemo had dealt with the cancer. ca But, in May 2017, Deborah had a scans and was told the disease had spread sp to her spine and she was terminal. te It was a devastating blow but, bu even at this stage, we refused to believe she was going to die.”
Knowing further chemo was not going to cure Deborah’s cancer, Nifraz started researching alternative treatments and hit upon cannabis oil.
He said: “There was lots of research on how cannabis oil could shrink tumours. Deborah started taking the oil and, after just a few months, the mass had started to shrink.
“Thanks to the cannabis and a change of diet, Deborah was at her healthiest point.
“She was still in a lot of pain but most of the time we were able to work through it together with breathing techniques until it passed. But then it started to get much worse and we had to call ambulances at 4am.”
The couple had planned to marry in November but they decided to bring the wedding forward to August so Deborah could enjoy it.
Nifraz said: “We booked the Couper Institute because Deborah used to dance there when she was a little girl.
“All our friends rallied round to help. The whole day was put together in just four weeks. Deborah’s colleagues went in the day before and decorated the whole place with multicoloured flowers. It was just beautiful.
“There was no cancer that day. We had a wheelchair there but Deborah was determined not to use it, even though she must have been in excruciating pain. Seeing her walk down the aisle was just magical. There was so much love in the room that day. It was the best day of my life.”
After the wedding, Deborah’s condition got worse and scans showed that, although the cancer in her cervix had disappeared, the mass in her spine had spread. At the end of October, she went into the hospice.
Nifraz added: “Deborah was upbeat right to the end. The night before she passed away, she started to panic. The doctors came in and told us this was it.
“I said, ‘ You know the way we love travelling? Well, you are going on a flight. You are flying first-class to go see your mum, your dad and Michael Jackson and you don’t even need a pilot. In the end, she went peacefully in my arms on November 8 – just three days before our original wedding date.
“I know it’s strange to say but it was a beautiful funeral. It was a celebration of all that was brilliant about Deborah.”
He added: “I just know someone sent me to look after her. The last 10 months have been heartbreaking but I am at peace with the fact she has gone and understand the bigger picture that there is a reason people meet.
“I feel like the luckiest man alive to have experienced real love. The journey I took with her may have been difficult and sad but it was also gloriously happy and full of sunshine.”