Me? Labour Party leader? Stupid Santa
It may be the season to be jolly... just not in politics.
From Brexit to riots in Paris and a most un-festive row over what Jeremy Corbyn called Theresa May, goodwill has been in very short supply. Here our own Santa Claus, Political Editor John Ferguson, grants one Christmas wish to our foremost politicians.
RUTH DAVIDSON DSON
The Scottish Conservative leadereader must be the only politician in Europe feeling like her Christmas wish has already come true.
Not only has she become a mum, her new baby has allowed her to step back from frontline politics at a time when there will be few winners and lots of losers.
What better time could there have been to take a break from the fold, enjoy family life and let someone else deal with the stalemate destroying her party from the inside?
She has insisted she doesn’t want the job but, who knows, she could be the only serious contender left for PM by the time the rest of her party have finished killing each other off.
JACOB REES-MOGG
The Honourable Member for the 18th century surely dreams of nothing better than to wake up in Downton Abbey, with the aristocracy firmly back in full control of British society.
The pesky commoners would be labouring in the fields or preparing to bring his Earl Grey tea up from the kitchens.
Unfortunately, this could be a dream that comes true if Parliament can’t get its act together and avert the catastrophic no-deal Brexit looming large on the horizon.
DONALD TRUMP
Like a contestant in one of his Miss Universe pageants, the US president will probably be wishing for world peace – so he can spend more time on the golf course.
Unfortunately, many believe his soft policy on Russia and North Korea, while withdrawing troops from Syria, could have the opposite effect in the long run.
MICHAEL MATHESON
The Transport Secretary will no doubt be wishing for a train set in full working order.
ScotRail is fast becoming a crisis for the Scottish Government, with thousands of commuters every day left standing furiously on platforms reconsidering their next vote.
There has been talk of
renationalisation, but with government interventions in Prestwick Airport, the BiFab plant and elsewhere hardly beacons of success, it could be a risky strategy.