Killie defeat’s more painful than World KO
But he admits the pain of defeat on the biggest stages didn’t even come close to how much he hurt af ter Hearts’ league defeat at Kilmarnock last Saturday – because he owned that one all by himself.
The thoughtful 40-year-old is still fighting to enhance his chances of a permanent role at Hearts, whether it’s in the head coaching role he’s currently keeping warm, or as sporting director.
He’s finding out the hard way, though, that with power comes responsibility – and dealing with it isn’t easy especially on the back of losses like their 3- 0 shocker at Rugby Park.
MacPhee said: “Does defeat hurt more when you’re in charge? Significantly.
“I’ve lost big games as an assistant – probably the biggest being the World Cup play- off in Switzerland with Northern Ireland.
“That was particularly difficult because it had been my dream since I was a wee boy to get to a World Cup.
“Also the Scottish Cup Final with Hearts last season. That was because we had worked particularly forensically to prepare the team and we took the
l ead. I always felt it was going to be a massive moment in Craig Levein’s career, given the pressure he was under and the talk about him winning a trophy.
“They were the two games as an assistant where I probably felt the most pain – and I still went home last Saturday feeling worse.
“We went through everything with the players and it was a crazy eight minutes that put us out of the game.
“The first person you look at is yourself. The decisions you make after a goal are important and sometimes the goal or goals can make you react when sometimes you need to take time to consider any changes. That was one of my observations.”
Despite that, MacPhee seems more convinced than ever that he has a role to play in the post-Levein era at Tynecastle – and he is determined to keep the players onside along the way.
He insisted: “I actually enjoy it! That has been the main thing I’ve found out about myself these past couple of weeks.
“In life you always learn from things that don’t go well more than from things that do and I feel I have the resilience to be involved in this profession.
“I’ve also learned how important it is, especially when there is a power vacuum and you’re only the caretaker manager, to find a way to manage through relationships and I have felt comfortable doing that.
“It would be foolish, as a caretaker manager, to try to rule with an i ron f i st because ultimately you are not in a permanent post.
“So I’ve really enjoyed that and enjoyed finding a way to work with different people, in a d i f ferent relationship than the one I maybe had before. “You still need to walk a tightrope with t h em , between having enough authority to make sure they follow your plans but not to overstep the mark because you’re the caretaker manager and you realise that everybody has a story about the uncertainty, about what is going to happen next.
“So the way to put your message across is slightly different than if you were the boss, per se.
“Although I have done this before and, as a consequence, I feel comfy in my own skin. Obviously, defeats are disappointing, wins leave you relieved but I have a confidence in my own ability to help a football club, irrespective of the role.”
MacPhee will handle his fourth game in charge of the team this afternoon at Ibrox, another potential audition for him, albeit as tough as they come.
However, he insists he’s completely at ease with the fact that, with daily access to Jambos owner Ann Budge, he knows exactly who his rivals are for the job. He shrugged: “It is an odd situation but it doesn’t feel strange. I know what’s happening. Ann Budge speaks to me every day, pretty much, and is open and honest.
“I know who is being spoken to and I’m comfortable with that and I do believe that is the right process for the club. I’m not scared by it.
“It shows how relaxed I am about the situation.
“I genuinely want what’s best for the club and if I have a part to play in the future, that will be great.
“If I don’t then I’m sure it will be articulated ar to me in a way that I will understand un the rationale.
“However, the club is going to restructure re in a way that looks to the th next five years.
“It has had a structure that has taken ta it from administration and Championship Ch football to consistent top-six to finishes.
“It now needs a tweak in the structure st that delivers consistent European Eu football and that comes from fr finishing in the top four nine years ye out of 10.
“It comes from getting 60 points, which w comes from winning half your games, ga consistently.
“Ann is looking at everything the football fo department and beyond do to allow the club to do those things.”