DANNY DENHOLM’S LOCKDOWN DIARY
to the last six or seven. I tried to do the bogroll challenge that folk have been doing, posting videos on Twitter of doing keepieuppies with one.
I’ve seen people who aren’t footballers do it well but I can’t get any more than five.
I don’t know if they have got theirs on a piece of string but the bog roll just pops off my foot in every direction.
The one I’ve tried with is now tattered and I’ve had very dirty looks from my other half so it probably wouldn’t be in my best interest to post a video.
It has been bizarre not having football on a Saturday, especially at this time of the year.
It was nice to have the odd one off but I am going mad already because I’m a football-nerd and like to listen to so many podcasts from around the globe. There is no English football, no European football, there is absolutely nothing to talk about it. Still, I’d rather watch a couple of selfisolating kids at the park playing long bangers than watch the Belarusian League.
We were still meant to go in to train last Tuesday but on the WhatsApp there was quite a lot of fuss about it, saying it is just not safe. Understandably and sensibly it was cancelled for the foreseeable future.
At a time like this it is good to have someone like Chris Higgins in our team. He’s a fitness fanatic and one of the world’s busiest guys in football. He has sent round these workouts that are perfect to football so we have been advised to do them.
Even with no training, I can tell you right now that Aaron Dunsmore will get a fine for posting inappropriate content in the WhatsApp chat on a regular basis. He will probably rack up £20 or so in fines.
We are going to have to amend the fine list in some way though. At East Fife you’re on to a fine if your body hair is not t rimmed to an appropriate level.
I don’t know how you go about checking people’s pubic hair. I don’t think club captain Scott Agnew is going to be asking for pictures!
I have enjoyed some respite though. It has been the first week in three years that I’ve not had Ryan Wal lace moaning at me. Every week he berates me on and off the pitch.
I am looking to do as much as I can outside in sparsely populated places so we are lucky we’ve got Arthur’s Seat around the corner. My friend David Gold, who plays for Arbroath, and I were round there at 9am on FFriday morning.
He is so fit that I eended up running aafter him. There mmust have been 100 mmetres between me aand him at the end.
It was just this ffigure running off ininto the distance up tthe hill while I was fefeeling like I was ggoing backwards.
But it helps I have ggot someone who is f it ter than me wwhom I can aspire tto, although he’s a fefew years younger!
I think there is this idea we’re going to be under some sort of martial law and won’t be able to go outside. As long as you’re taking the right precautions when outside, it will be so important for people’s physical and mental health to get out of the house.
People have misconceptions about mental health but there are going to be detrimental effects to this with anxiety and the claustrophobic feeling of staying in.
That’s why it is important if you can to get out safely and do a bit of exercise.
Besides having no game yesterday, this weekend was supposed to be my stag do in Dublin so that wasn’t happening.
Our back-up was to book an apartment for last night with a view to a self-isolating stag – eight of us playing FIFA on the Playstation 4 and using plenty of hand sanitiser so we were not sharing anything.
Given the latest government advice we decided that should bite the dust too. I’ve been teetotal for six months but coronavirus may finally drive me back to having a drink when my stag comes around.