DANNY DENHOLM’S LOCKDOWN DIARY
Me and Yano will get fatsuited up before dip in Dick’s hot tub
It is the fight the lower leagues have been crying out for.
Never mind the Rumble in the Jungle – this is the square-go on Dick Campbell’s patio.
My old gaffer’s boy Yano (Iain Campbell) and I have been having a to-and-fro on Twitter and Snapchat, just trying to keep that dressingroom patter going – even though he is not in my dressing room any more.
I feel like we have lifted each other’s spirits purely by slaughtering each other.
It has mostly revolved around what is going to happen when we meet up after all this.
To that end, he said: “What if we hire sumo suits and wrestle – and get someone to video it?”
A great idea Yano – let’s pencil in a date. The thing is he doesn’t really need much of a suit.
I’ve got reach on him, he’s got weight on me – but once we have them on it is anyone’s game.
He’s had to fight for everything growing up with Dick so would probably have the edge physically.
But if I can win the war of words I can get in his head. To be fair, if you get a big enough sumo suit you could socially distance.
It looks like it will be some time away. But we’re so desperate for sport I reckon people would pay good money for pay-per-view of this streamed to their house.
Rather than the Hydro, how’s about in Dick’s garden or his brother Pink’s? They both have hot tubs – they used to talk about them all the time when I was at Arbroath – so after it is all said and done we could share a beer and bubbles.
We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. And I’ll be ready after raiding the cupboard at the primary school where I work as a PE teacher.
We were allowed to go into the school last week to collect things … so I borrowed a ball, cones, skipping ropes, a pull-up bar, whatever I could get my hands on.
Listen, I will put it all back – I just took equipment to keep me fit.
It was weird to see the school I’ve worked in for three years now a ghost town. I’ll be back in over the Easter holidays to help with the daycare situation.
I am missing the 6v6 games at training, which are a step back in time to the ones you used to play as a kid. I was out with a ball in the park the other day, doing keepy-uppies and thinking: “This is rubbish.”
Apart from anything, there is no point in having a ball if nobody else is there. Do you know what,
I am not even good at keepy-uppies.
There was a boy about eight there doing a better job.
Chasing after the bal l is more my speciality than close control . I ’ ve seen retired pros getting
50- plus easy at Kevin
Thomson’s challenge on Twitter in which you have to keep the ball up against a wall using alternate feet. Fifteen was my record.
We may not be together as a squad but of course April Fool’s Day was never going to go unmarked at East Fife.
And our gullible keeper Brett Long was caught out again. The assistant manager texted him saying: “Announcement at three o’clock today. The games are going back on May 2. First game Raith Rovers.”
Brett being Brett steamed right into the WhatsApp group chat: “Boys, we’re back.”
Tony, the assistant boss, texted me: “I told you I’d get Brett.”
Well, it is not hard.
The East Fife boys are just trying to keep themselves occupied. Aaron Dunsmore has shaved his head. He didn’t even try to go for Danny some Peaky Blinders is a podcast
Thomas Shelby cut. No, host for Lower it all went.
League Ramblings, which offers I am not at that a peek behind the dressing stage yet. My hair room door. Visit grows like Screech https:// lowerleague ramfrom Saved by the blings.com. Follow
@ Bell – a big curly Afro LLRamblings on – but nobody will see Twitter me so I don’t care. I can be as hairy as I want to be. t s– – ––