Football hackers ready for a slice of golf freedom
Greenkeepers beware, hundreds of footballers are headed your way.
With golf returning but football still on the back burner, prepare for a flurry of membership forms.
And while they’ll give it a go, there are some awful golfers within our ranks.
Put a club in their hands instead of a fitba at their feet and it is dangerous.
At Arbroath we had a trip to Gleneagles with the gaffer Dick Campbell.
A great team bonding day but that first tee was not a pleasant place to be. The first nine drives were flawless – then up steps Dale Hilson just before a bang average yours truly.
I’m praying for him to do something wrong. Sure enough, he gives it a big swing, terrible technique, and misses completely.
The boys are falling over themselves laughing – but he’s raging and has another swipe. This time he hits the ball about 50 yards. Fifty yards in the wrong direction, that is – straight into t he trees . There are a few of your Dale Hilsons kicking around.
Here at East Fife, we had a day at a golf simulator not long before the shutdown.
Patience is an asset in golf so it was no surprise Ross Davidson, as the angriest man ever, was shocking.
Of course, there are exceptions such as my team-mate Ryan Wallace.
Plus, Dick’s boy Yano gives me shots because he hits the ball a mile.
Disgusting technique, mind. He is cack-handed and hits it like a baseball.
If footballers put in the time I reckon we could be good at the wee-ball game.
Maybe this is the time, before training returns, to get a bit of practice in.
And of course there will be a few after one good round who think they’re ready for the Euro Tour.
At least I have my Spanish to fall back on, which picked up in week