It’s just incredible, knowing a piece of my daughter is still alive inside Helen
Mum keeps her organ donor’s memory alive through own family
Tears rolled down Keith Astbury’s cheeks as he hugged Helen Fraser for the first time.
In that extraordinary moment,ment, he felt his daughter Pippa’s lungs breathing life into the woman standing before him.
Keith lost Pippa, a mumof-one, when she had a fatal brain bleed at just 41.
She was committed to organ donation – a decision that had given new hope and life to five people, including mum-of-three Helen, 55.
And Keith could not contain his pride as Helen provided d living proof of all that Pippa a believed in.
He said of that emotional l first meeting in Staffordshire: e:
“It was incredible, knowing a piece of Pippa was still alive ve inside Helen and was keeping ng her alive too. I was lost for words. ds.
“They are so alike. Helen iss a lovely, caring person and mother, er, just like Pippa was.”
Keith had travelled from om Accrington, Lancashire, while ile Helen and eldest daughter Danielle, elle,
34, came down from Dundee.
They had exchanged letters and photos but had never mett in person. In time, though, they and their families would go on to form a lasting bond.
Keith’s grandson even spent a week with Helen and her family in Scotland this summer where they attached a padlock with Pippa’s name and date of her death to railings at Dundee Law.
Recalling meeting Keith for the first time at the Organ Donation Week, Helen said : “I was so overwhelmed, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So I just said, ‘ Thank you.’ Keith introduced me to everyone, telling them I was Pippa’s recipient. You could see how much it meant to him.”
Helen and Danielle had picked their moment carefully. Danielle explained: “We always got the impression from
his emails that Keith would like to meet one day. We were sneaking around like we were in MI5, trying to enlist the help of other families to surprise him. We sat near the back and I saw Keith and his wife come in.
“They sat a few rows away from us, too close for comfort, so we jumped up and moved to the front. After the service, we all went out on to the veranda and I could see Keith talking so I stood behind him.
“When he turned around, I could see he recognised me from photos but was so shocked. He said my name twice and we hugged.
“I felt him rub his hand down my back and up again, like he was holding his daughter or trying to make sure it wawasas really happening.” ThThe meetingti was, off courcourse, borne out of the loss of Keith’s beloved PippPippa.
SShe col lapsed on NovNovember 14, 2018. PPippa, whose son JohJohn Aaron is now 13, hahad suffered a cerebrbral haemorrhage anand was put on life susuppor t . But she cocould not be saved. Retired mental hhea l th suppor t wworker Keith, 72, sasaid: “Losing Pippa wwas devastating. SShe had so much to llive for. She loved bbeing a mum and hadha gone back to college to study ssocial care as she wanted a career helping people.
“We had never discussedd organ donation but she obviouslysly felt passionately about it,t, so we knew we had to honour her wishes.” Shop worker Pippa had declared she wanted to donate her organs on her driving licence, in her will and by registering online.e. Since 2020, a new organgan donor register means youu agree to donation unless you optpt out.out It was named Max And Keira’s Law – after 14-year-old Max Johnson, who received the heart of nine-year- old car crash victim Keira Ball in 2017. Organ Donation Week ended yesterday and Keith and Helen were talkingta to support an appeal by NHS Blood and Transplant for more donors.
The pandemic has seen the numbernu waiting for a transplant riseris to more than 6500. Another 300030 have been suspended from the waiting list as they are too ill or are ineligible.
Meanwhile, organ donation is only possible in one per cent of all deaths and many bereaved families refuse permission.
But Pippa’s wishes were honoured. Her lungs went to Helen, her kidneys were donated to two men and her corneas restored the sight of two people.
Helen is eternally grateful. She developed pulmonary fibrosis – severe scarring of her lung tissue – in her early 40s.
By 2018, she was trapped in a broken body, with little hope.
She said: “I couldn’t breathe. I sat in the same chair all day because I was too tired to move. I couldn’t watch television as I was on oxygen and the machine was too loud. I couldn’t even speak. I would starstart to choke, then be sick.
“SoSometimes I felt like giving up. At timtimes, it was only my children who kepkept me going.”
AAfter two false alaralarms for organs, HeleHelen almost took herself off the waiting list.
“But on NovemNovember 16, 2018, she received the life- saving call. Helen added: “I remember taking that first breath after they removed the ventilator. It was amazing.”
Helen was discharged just two weeks later and was home with her
Pippa over would be she the moon.. kids gave three their mother back
ffamilyil forf ChiChristmas. IIn theh NNew YYear her body began to reject the lungs and she had blood clots in them .
She took several months to recover. By September 2019, she felt well enough to write to her donor’s family.
Helen said: “It was so hard. How do you find the words to thank them for the most precious gift when you know they’ve lost someone they loved? I missed out on so much with my children when I was ill. Now we can live again.”
Keith said: “Helen told me her daughter had just learned to ride a bike and, without the transplant, she wouldn’t have been here to see it. That stuck in my mind as Pippa’s lungs didn’t just allow Helen to live. It gave three children their mother back. Pippa would be
over the moon. It’s exactly what she would have wanted.”
After exchanging several letters anonymously via co- ordinators, the fami lies were allowed to contact each other directly.
Last Sunday they met up at this year’s memorial service – and aim to make it an annual get-together.
The two families talk every week and shared a video call at Christmas.
After Pippa’s son spent a week with Helen and her family in the summer, she said: “It felt so natural. On the first night, he said he felt like he had known us since he was a baby.
“My eyesight has deteriorated, so he took my hand to guide me when we went for a walk. He has been through so much but he is such a lovely boy.
“We bought a padlock and took him to get it engraved – with his mum’s name and date of her death – then fixed it to the railings at the top of Law Hill, overlooking the whole of Dundee. We thought that was a nice spot for it.
“Then he said, ‘ You’ve made my Grandad very happy.’ If that’s the case, I’m glad. Pippa and Keith gave me so much. It’s nice to think I’ve given him some comfort too.”
For more informat ion , v i s i t organdona t i on . n h s . u k and donorfamilynetwork.co.uk.