Ask Anne Don’t have sex Dad’s just just to be like your best friend died and Q my mum’s on the pull

Anne says: Just because it’s legal at your age doesn’t mean it’s the right time for you. And just because your BF is having sex, it doesn’t mean that you should.

And if your boyfriend is the sort of boy you hope he is, he won’t leave you because you say “no, not yet”.

In fact, he should respect you more for knowing your own mind. If he’s not that sort of boy, he doesn’t deserve your love.

So it’s up to you – do you want to follow your own mind or not? it does feel alarmingly soon to you. No-one mourns in the same way and, indeed, since your father was dying of cancer, she may have started her mourning a long time ago.

They may have mourned together. You just don’t know.

So please don’t judge her. Support her instead.

Going out on dates after a long marriage will be a very different and challenging experience for her and it’s going to be hard enough without her feeling that the family is against her. That’s not to say you cannot discuss your own feelings with her – just try to be patient, understanding and compassionate.

Tell her that you are hurting. She should know her actions are affecting others – but don’t be angry or tell her that she is wrong.

Are there older members of the family who could also offer support, sympathy and a friendly shoulder to lean on?

My worry is that, in the unpredictable world of dating, she could encounter problems as well as pleasures – and she should definitely have people in whom she can confide.

That’s why it’s important you stay friends, but equally understand each other’s points of view.