Quotes of the week

I cannot tell you the number of times people say: ‘I shower with you every morning’

Radio 4 presenter Sarah Montague on

the Today programme’s 60th birthday

You’re not going to get rid of me that easily

Strictly judge Bruno Tonioli vows to return after missing his first

show in 13 years

While it’s important to encourage children to visit, farting statues are definitely not the way to do it

A Victoria & Albert

worker fears plans allowing the Beano to take over the museum

You have caused my dog to behave in a totally unhabitual manner

French president Emmanuel Macron shifts the blame after his dog Nemo pees against a

fireplace at a meeting

Fortunately, she said yes

Holidaymaker Chris Jeans proposes to his girlfriend during a mid-air emergency as their plane

to Bali plunges 20,000ft

It’s difficult to distinguish a tune but nearly every day it involves a bagpipe solo

Ex Goodie Bill Oddie reveals tinnitus means he

hears music in his head

Love and kisses to you forever... stay sweet

Guitar legend

Jimi Hendrix’s 1967 note to a fan sells for £5,700

I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill... that line inspired me to dream

US rapper LL Cool J pays tribute to music pioneer Fats Domino who

died aged 89

We howled in the break. #So funny. I’m a t**t

This Morning’s Amanda Holden is red-faced after asking space

station astronaut Tim Peake if

he’d taken a souvenir from the moon