SHIP PLANS ALL AT SEA

Now here’s a question. When is a warship not a warship?

Answer: when it suits the Government.

The EU defines a warship as something which floats about firing things, such as frigates and destroyers.

That allows them to be built in British dockyards, creating precious jobs.

But contracts for Navy vessels we don’t class as warships go out to international tender.

The Ministry of Defence said offshore patrol boats were warships when we wanted to build them here, but under the latest shipbuilding strategy they’re not. Now former Shadow Defence Minister Kevan Jones is worried that new fleet auxiliary vessels supporting our two supercarriers will not have warship status so that they can be hammered together in South Korea.

They also fire things – through 20mm cannons – and are prepared for war, which Kevan argues makes them warships.

And anyway, Brexit means EU rules soon won’t apply.

Kevan told me: “They’ll operate on the frontline. So it’s a no-brainer UK shipyards should build them.” Labour is in turmoil again after backbencher John Woodcock quit the party and Margaret Hodge (left) branded Jeremy Corbyn a racist. Jeremy only became Labour leader in 2015 because moderates nominated him when he couldn’t find enough names to get on the ballot. They never dreamed he’d win.

David Miliband did the same for Diane Abbott in 2010. But, as often happens with Diane, the arithmetic didn’t add up that time.