12 Tory clowns fight it out for the crown
Idon’t believe it. I really can’t believe it. In fact, I’m almost speechless with disbelief. Almost but not quite. Otherwise this page wouldn’t get written.
I can’t believe our next PM will be chosen from such a comedy store of clowns by an electorate of 313 MPs with a confirmatory vote by just 124,000 Tory members. That’s democracy Kim Jong-un-style.
I can’t believe the dirty dozen are so universally awful they dream up back-of-a-fag-packet policies with little thought to the consequences.
And that’s just those who have them. Matt Hancock is an ideafree zone and, God help us, he runs the NHS.
The only deal Brexiteers Boris Johnson and Esther McVey offer the nation is a catastrophic No Deal. While Rory Stewart’s pitch is no dealing with Boris.
And the rest of the crew on this ship of fools spout such doolally stuff that if they were heard shouting it out in the streets they would be sectioned.
Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt wants to turn the country into a dodgy offshore tax haven while
Michael Gove is surely taking the michael with his plan to scrap the EU settlement scheme which 625,000 Europeans have already signed up to in good faith.
Gove wants to replace it with free citizenship for the three million EU nationals living here. That would cost £4billion – or 1p on basic rate income tax – and lead to undocumented migrants, which is how we ended up with the Windrush fiasco.
Settling in another country shouldn’t mean sacrificing precious national identity anyway.
I lived in New York for five years but would have caught the first flight home had the US wanted to stop me being British.
While Gove’s proposal means hiking income tax, former Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab would lower it by 5p. On the face of it hugely populist.
But think about it. That would mean slicing £20billion off public services, such as the NHS and schools, and herald a new age of austerity.
If that’s the best this lot can do then we’re done for. But it brings a Government of National Unity created by Tory and Labour rebels a heartbeat closer.
So never mind, eh. Cabinet ministers are so absorbed in squabbling and scrabbling for the leadership that the country is left ungoverned.
Yet everything seems to run relatively smoothly. Nothing collapses or crashes to a halt – apart from M25 traffic on my way home but I blame Chris Grayling. And the Transport Secretary was king of cock-ups long before Brexit.
All this suggests the best form of government is the least form of government.
Now that I can believe.
BAD DEAL McVey Battle to be next PM is democracy Kim Jongun-style