Sunday Mirror (Northern Ireland)
I’ve been in the nuthouse for three and a half years... that’s why I’m alive now
O’Connor ‘really good’ after winning depression battle
SINGER Sinead O’Connor is feeling “really good” again after spending the past three-and-ahalf years in a mental institution.
The Nothing Compares 2 U hitmaker told how she was ready to start making new music and touring again and is planning to publish her memoirs next year.
The Dubliner, who took the name Shuhada Sadaqat after converting to Islam, spoke to Dave Fanning on RTE 2FM yesterday.
The 52-year-old looked fresh and relaxed and wore a hijab throughout the 50-minute radio interview in which she outlined how she is:
Rebuilding her life after years of therapy
Has reconnected with her family
Will play her first gig in four years, and
Found becoming a Muslim like “coming home”.
Two years ago Sinead posted a disturbing video of herself pleading for help in a motel room in New Jersey.
But she revealed yesterday years of trauma therapy had brought her back from the brink.
In the 2017 footage, which prompted US telly shrink Dr Phil to reach out, she sobbed: “For two years my entire life has revolved around just not dying and that’s not living.
“And I’m not going to die, I’m not going to die.”
Reflecting on her darkest days and her public cry for help, Sinead said yesterday:
“It actually saved my life.When you are suicidal but you don’t want to die you would do anything to save your life.
“When you’re isolated because you’ve burned all your bridges you don’t know what you would do to save your life.
“In my case I was very lonesome, I needed to get s**t out. When you’re drowning you’ll grab anything and you’ll
scream and that was me screaming to save myself. The whole Dr Phil experience led me into trauma work. It got all that s**t out, it was very peace-making.”
The outspoken mum of four, known for her trademark buzzcut, revealed she’d been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and chronic PTSD.
She added: “I’m rebuilding my life, I’ve been in the nuthouse for three-and-a-half years and I’m allowed to say that, the N word. In my case I wouldn’t necessarily define it as mental illness. What happened was there were things going on in my life that made me feel suicidal.
“And if I hadn’t been in hospital for three-and-a-half years I wouldn’t be alive to sit here talking... perfectly sane people feel suicidal.
“What I learned over the last three-and-a-half years is you learn to tolerate those feelings without becoming so distressed that you either have to act on them or go to hospital.”
Sinead said she was rebuilding her relationships with her dad, her sister and her brothers but she had learned from experience that speaking publicly about it was not helpful.
And she revealed embracing Islam had been like “coming home”, adding: “I identify hugely with the stigma that Muslims have had to deal with.”
Sinead, formerly known as Sr Mary
For two years my entire life has revolved around just not dying and that’s not living SINEAD O’CONNOR RTE 2FM YESTERDAY
Bernadette, said she had been studying religion since her childhood but left Islam to last because she had prejudices.
She added: “When I began to read it [the Koran] I realised I’d been a Muslim all my life without even knowing it because it’s a way of thinking.
“I thought, ‘Oh my God I’m home’. I want to help to smash some of the stigma around Islam.”
Having worked with the likes of Shane McGowan, U2 and Massive Attack in the past, Sinead also revealed she had only ever turned down one collaboration – with Ronan Keating.
The Boyzone frontman was given the elbow because,
Sinead said, she “couldn’t breathe” when she heard him singing with an American accent. She added: “I think I really upset him which is not what I meant to do.”
The singer gave her first ever interview to Fanning in 1987 before her meteoric rise to fame with her debut album The Lion And The Cobra. But she returned yesterday to reveal she was feeling good and looking forward to getting back to work.
She said: “I think I’m really, really good actually, really good.
“That’s why I’ve come in as well, partly to let people know I’m around because it’s been four years since I did anything.
“I’m missing it [live performing]... it’s what I do.”
If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this article please contact the Samaritans helpline on 116 123.