Outlook’s Priti bleak in blue on blue fight

Sunday Mirror (Northern Ireland) - - News -

Boris lost a by-election faster than any PM in 111 years

The only fun to be had from this mis­er­able po­lit­i­cal landscape is find­ing out which gang of Tory clever clogs is clever­est. Bat­tle lines are drawn in what prom­ises to be the most de­li­cious bout of blue on blue in­fight­ing ever seen.

Where each side stands de­pends on where they sit. The reck­less No Deal bri­gade have plonked their bums round the Cab­i­net ta­ble while Theresa May’s Cab­i­net of No to No Deal are on the Com­mons benches va­cated by the other lot.

The No Deal­ers are mas­ter­minded by that scruffy urchin Dominic Cum­mings, Boris Johnson’s chief ad­viser and Vote Leave veteran, who wears shirts so creased even the creases have creases. Bene­dict Cum­ber­batch played him as very clever in­deed.

The Cab­i­net in ex­ile is led by former Chan­cel­lor Phil Ham­mond, who might be dull but is also bright.

Johnson did not seem all that clever in his first full week, los­ing a by-election faster than any new PM in 111 years. And only Diane Ab­bott’s appointmen­t as Home Sec­re­tary would have

been more gob­s­mack­ing than Priti Patel get­ting the job.

Priti is pretty silly on im­mi­gra­tion. She bangs on about get­ting the best brains to come here us­ing an Aus­tralian points-based sys­tem.

Which has merit, ex­cept this is not about merit but Brexit.

Aus­tralia is big with a small pop­u­la­tion and Bri­tain is small with a big one so our needs are dif­fer­ent, a dis­crep­ancy Ms Patel doesn’t seem clever enough to no­tice.

Mi­grants score points for pro­fes­sional and per­sonal char­ac­ter­is­tics, in­clud­ing age and ed­u­ca­tion, which cre­ates a bias against the un­skilled labour Bri­tain re­quires. We have plenty of for­eign foot­ball man­agers but not enough fruit pick­ers.

HGV driv­ers are bizarrely clas­si­fied as un­skilled. But surely it takes skill to drive a 44-ton lorry.

Ms Patel thinks only “bril­liant sci­en­tists, aca­demics and bio­chemists... and those with the high­est skills and great­est tal­ents” should be here.

Care work­ers are also classed as un­skilled. But 104,000 of them from the EU and a fur­ther 120,000 from else­where look af­ter the elderly and vulnerable. With one in 10 care jobs un­filled, the Patel sys­tem could spell catas­tro­phe for our ageing pop­u­la­tion.

In Aus­tralia it takes skill to build up points. There’s also a bumper 30 marks for be­ing aged be­tween 25 and 33, but many care work­ers are older.

We need more not fewer. The num­ber of peo­ple aged over 85 will dou­ble from 1.6 mil­lion to 3.2 mil­lion in 25 years. In 50 years it will tre­ble.

As one im­mi­gra­tion in­sider told me: “Bril­liant bio­chemists might be clever. But they’re not go­ing to wipe granny’s bot­tom.”

HOME RUN Priti Patel

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.